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HomeCleaning jokes

Cleaning jokes

Zachary: How does Santa clean his hands?
Chase: No idea.
Zachary: He uses Santa-tizer.

Joke by Zachary K., Bloomfield Hills, Michigan 
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Comic by Van Scott
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Comic by Thomas Toons
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Comic by Scott Nickel
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Comic by Jon Carter
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WARPED WISEMAN WONDERS: “If you drop the soap, does the soap become dirty, or does the floor become clean?”

Joke by Henry H., Grand Junction, Colorado
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A PUNNY BOOK: "Cleaning Schools" by Janet Ore.

Joke by Bentzion D., Baltimore, Maryland
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Comic by Scott Nickel
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Comic by Bob Vojtko
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Mom: Go pick up your room.
Kate: I can’t.
Mom: Why not?
Kate: It’s too heavy. It weighs a ton!

Joke by Kate O., Seattle, Washington
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Andrew: I had to sell my vacuum cleaner.
Gavin: Why?
Andrew: It was just collecting dust.

Joke by Andrew S., South Ogden, Utah
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Comic by Scott Nickel
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Comic by Scott Nickel
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Comic by Scott Nickel
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A book never written: “The Window Washer” by Seymour Clearlie.

Joke by Jack C., Portland, Ore.
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A book never written: “Cleaning My Room” by Dustin D. Shelves.

Joke by Nathaniel S., Pittsburgh, Pa.
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John visited his 90-year-old grandpa who lived way out in the country. On the first morning of the visit, John's grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs. John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked, "Are these plates clean?"

His grandpa replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal."

For lunch, Grandpa made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have specks of dried egg on it. "Are you sure these plates are clean?" he asked.

Without looking up, Grandpa said, "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them!" 

Later, as John was leaving, his grandpa's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass.

John said, "Grandpa, your dog won't let me get by!"

Grandpa yelled to the dog, "Cold Water, go lie down!"

Joke by Jonathan P., Chicago, Ill.
199 comments

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