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HomeJokesTom Swiftie Jokes

Tom Swiftie Jokes

Tom Swiftie (or Tom Swifty) jokes always include a quoted sentence linked by a pun to the way it’s attributed. These jokes became popular in the 1960s and are based on the “Tom Swift” book series from the early 20th century.

TOM SWIFTY: “Where’s the water?” Tom asked dryly.

Joke by Breece O., College Station, Texas
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TOM SWIFTY: “I will call my invention ‘the light bulb!’ ” Tom said brightly.

Joke by Pablo F., Wake Forest, North Carolina 
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TOM SWIFTY: “I’ll dig another ditch around the castle,” Tom said remotely.

Joke by Kai L., League City, Texas 
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TOM SWIFTY: “This tastes terrible,” Tom said bitterly.

Joke by Shelley C., Enid, Oklahoma 
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TOM SWIFTY: “I live in America,” Tom stated.

Joke by Evi Vander Z., Pewee Valley, Kentucky 
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TOM SWIFTIE: “I just stepped in some poison ivy!” Tom said, itching to go home.

Joke by Ayn A., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
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TOM SWIFTY: “That campfire is blazing!” Tom said warmly.

Joke by Luke T., Birmingham, Alabama
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TOM SWIFTY: “I’m really good at protecting things,” Tom said defensively.

Joke by Hayden B., St. Louis, Missouri
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TOM SWIFTY: “I thought there were 50 cookies in this jar,” Tom recounted.

Joke by Riya T., Short Hills, New Jersey
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TOM SWIFTY: “I like your bells,” Tom chimed.

Joke by Evi V., Pewee Valley, Kentucky
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TOM SWIFTY: “I’m empty inside,” Tom said hollowly.

Joke by Bela B., Arlington, Virginia
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TOM SWIFTY: “I wish I’d never come to the North Pole,” Tom said coldly.

Joke by Owen B., Maplewood, New Jersey
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TOM SWIFTIE: “This hike is quite slow,” Tom said sluggishly.

Joke by Michaela D., Eagle, Wisconsin
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TOM SWIFTIE: “My power went out,” Tom said darkly.

Joke by Alex F., Paso Robles, California
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TOM SWIFTY: “I only have vegetables,” Tom said fruitlessly.

Joke by Enzo M., Madison, Wisconsin
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Tom Swifty: “That’s the last time I pet a lion,” Tom said offhandedly.

Joke by Kai L., League City, Texas
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TOM SWIFTY: “I got a touchscreen computer,” Tom pointed out.

Joke by James M., Appleton, Wisconsin
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TOM SWIFTY: “Give up! I have the ace of diamonds, clubs and spades,” Tom said heartlessly.

Joke by Luke S., Bristol, Tennessee
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TOM SWIFTIE: “The night sky is beautiful,” Tom said starry-eyed.

Joke by Jacob A., Saratoga Springs, Utah
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TOM SWIFTIE: “Being a wolf is awesome,” Tom howled.

Joke by Aadil, Plymouth, Minnesota
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TOM SWIFTIE: “I forgot what I was going to buy at the store,” Tom said listlessly.

Joke by Lily B., Carmel, Indiana
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TOM SWIFTIE: “I really have to go,” Tom ran on.

Joke by Kaelin C., Palm Beach Gardens, Florida
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TOM SWIFTIE: “Oh, no. I dropped my toothpaste.” Tom said, crestfallen.

Joke by Graham M., Reston, Virginia
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Tom Swiftie: “What other toppings should I put on my hot dog?” Tom asked with relish.

Joke by Ethan T., Rockville, Maryland
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TOM SWIFTIE: “I think I am sick,” Tom said feverishly.

Joke by Harry G., Cupertino, California
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