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HomeJokesTom Swiftie Jokes

Tom Swiftie Jokes

Tom Swiftie (or Tom Swifty) jokes always include a quoted sentence linked by a pun to the way it’s attributed. These jokes became popular in the 1960s and are based on the “Tom Swift” book series from the early 20th century.

TOM SWIFTY: “I think I lost my compass,” Tom said aimlessly.

Joke by Adelyn J., Spring, Texas
0 comments

TOM SWIFTY: “This river is fast and bumpy,” Tom said rapidly.

Joke by Roger H., San Diego, California
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TOM SWIFTY: “Don’t break that pencil,” Tom snapped.

Joke by Luke O., Fulton, Maryland
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TOM SWIFTY: “Don’t play with dynamite!” Tom exploded.

Joke by Ayn A., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
1 comments

TOM SWIFTIE: “What’s with all the excitement around the beehive?” Tom buzzed.

Joke by Tom D., Grand Rapids, Minnesota
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TOM SWIFTY: “These scissors won’t cut,” said Tom snippily. 

Joke by Luke S., Bristol, Tennessee
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TOM SWIFTY: “I need this package delivered immediately!” Tom expressed.

Joke by Roger H., San Diego, California
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TOM SWIFTY: “These lines keep intersecting,” Tom said crossly.

Joke by Thiru P., Columbus, Ohio
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TOM SWIFTY: “Where’s the water?” Tom asked dryly.

Joke by Breece O., College Station, Texas
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TOM SWIFTY: “I will call my invention ‘the light bulb!’ ” Tom said brightly.

Joke by Pablo F., Wake Forest, North Carolina 
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TOM SWIFTY: “I’ll dig another ditch around the castle,” Tom said remotely.

Joke by Kai L., League City, Texas 
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TOM SWIFTY: “This tastes terrible,” Tom said bitterly.

Joke by Shelley C., Enid, Oklahoma 
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TOM SWIFTY: “I live in America,” Tom stated.

Joke by Evi Vander Z., Pewee Valley, Kentucky 
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TOM SWIFTIE: “I just stepped in some poison ivy!” Tom said, itching to go home.

Joke by Ayn A., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
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TOM SWIFTY: “That campfire is blazing!” Tom said warmly.

Joke by Luke T., Birmingham, Alabama
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TOM SWIFTY: “I’m really good at protecting things,” Tom said defensively.

Joke by Hayden B., St. Louis, Missouri
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TOM SWIFTY: “I thought there were 50 cookies in this jar,” Tom recounted.

Joke by Riya T., Short Hills, New Jersey
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TOM SWIFTY: “I like your bells,” Tom chimed.

Joke by Evi V., Pewee Valley, Kentucky
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TOM SWIFTY: “I’m empty inside,” Tom said hollowly.

Joke by Bela B., Arlington, Virginia
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TOM SWIFTY: “I wish I’d never come to the North Pole,” Tom said coldly.

Joke by Owen B., Maplewood, New Jersey
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TOM SWIFTIE: “This hike is quite slow,” Tom said sluggishly.

Joke by Michaela D., Eagle, Wisconsin
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TOM SWIFTIE: “My power went out,” Tom said darkly.

Joke by Alex F., Paso Robles, California
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TOM SWIFTY: “I only have vegetables,” Tom said fruitlessly.

Joke by Enzo M., Madison, Wisconsin
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Tom Swifty: “That’s the last time I pet a lion,” Tom said offhandedly.

Joke by Kai L., League City, Texas
1 comments

TOM SWIFTY: “I got a touchscreen computer,” Tom pointed out.

Joke by James M., Appleton, Wisconsin
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