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How the telephone proposed

REDD: How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?
KIT: I don’t know.
REDD: He gave her a ring.

Joke by Redd C., Layton, Utah
0 comments

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Dogs vs. mail carrier

Comic by Jon Carter
0 comments
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A place that’s never icy

MATT: What place is never icy?
JACK: Tell me.
MATT: A beach, because it’s always sanded.
Joke by Matthew W., Woodbridge, Conn.
0 comments
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But it’s fresh ground coffee

A waiter gives a gentleman a cup of coffee. The gentleman takes a sip and spits it out.

He turns to the waiter and says, “Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud!”

The waiter, looking surprised, turns to the gentleman and says, “But, sir, it’s fresh ground!”
Joke by Aaron W., Groton, New York
0 comments
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Cats are best at bowling

TYSON: What animals are the best at bowling?
LIAM: Tell me.
TYSON: Alley cats.
Joke by Tyson B., Merriam, Kansas
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Sand computer on the seashore

Comic by Harley Schwadron
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Earning Your Snow Sports Merit Badge

A PUNNY BOOK: Earning Your Snow Sports Merit Badge by Yugo Ski.
Joke by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.
0 comments
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A cow with no legs

GOODHUE: What do you call a cow with no legs?
KERIN: No idea.
GOODHUE: Ground beef.
Joke by Goodhue B., Austin, Texas
0 comments
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I’ll have a peanut

BRODY: Knock, knock.
HENRY: Who’s there?
BRODY: Cash.
HENRY: Cash, who?
BRODY: No, thanks, but I’ll have a peanut.
Joke by Brody B., Mazeppa, Minnesota
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Clown’s diagnosis is nothing serious

Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments
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How to tie the knot

RYAN: Why is it so easy for an adult Scouter to get married?
HALLEY: Why?
RYAN: Because they know how to tie a knot.
Joke by Ryan G., Milton, Georgia
0 comments
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A complete and udder lie

KEVIN: Did you hear the one about the flying cows?
KOLE: Yes. What about it?
KEVIN: It was a complete and udder lie.
Joke by Kole B., Las Vegas, Nevada
0 comments
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A Tenderfoot’s sore feet

RUBY: Why was the Scout always complaining about her sore feet after a hike?
GERALD: Why?
RUBY: Because she was a Tenderfoot.
Joke by Ruby, Santa Rosa, California
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Captain of the dog’s cruise

Comic by Scott Masear
0 comments
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How the tooth fairy gets to the North Pole

KIT: How did the tooth fairy get to the North Pole?
REDD: No clue.
KIT: On the Molar Express.
Joke by Kit C., Layton, Utah
0 comments
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How a programmer opens a lock

PRANAYSAI: What did the computer programmer use to open the lock?
HARRY: What?
PRANAYSAI: A keyboard.
Joke by Pranaysai G., Fremont, California
0 comments
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Break a fin

FARID: What did the emcee say to the shark who was getting ready to go onstage?
BRETT: I’m not sure.
FARID: “Break a fin.”
Joke by Farid E., Clifton, Virginia
0 comments
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A snowman’s sneeze

Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments
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What the top hat said to the bow tie

MAX: What did the top hat say to the bow tie?
LONDON: What?
MAX: “Fancy meeting you here.”
Joke by Max N., Arleta, California
0 comments
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I lost my compass

TOM SWIFTY: “I think I lost my compass,” Tom said aimlessly.
Joke by Adelyn J., Spring, Texas
0 comments
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A horse’s favorite shoe

ELI: What’s a horse’s favorite type of shoe?
DEAN: What?
ELI: High clops.
Joke by Eli F., Carrollton, Texas
0 comments
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Roller toaster

Comic by Johnny Hawkins
0 comments
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Egg at the beach

ZAIN: On what side did the egg lie on the beach?
COLE: I don’t know.
ZAIN: Sunny-side up.
Joke by Zain W., Clifton, Virginia
0 comments
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Boxer at the library

BRANDON: What did the boxer do at the library?
JAKE: No clue.
BRANDON: Hit the books.
Joke by Brandon G., Bremerton, Washington
0 comments
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Football players don’t get hot

LIAM: Why don’t football players ever get hot?
BECKET: Why?
LIAM: Because of all the fans.
Joke by Becket C., Hoover, Alabama
0 comments
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Snowman’s disappearing nose

Comic by Van Scott
0 comments
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Cutest vegetable

TRIPP: What’s the cutest vegetable?
TIMMY: What?
TRIPP: A cute-cumber.
Joke by Tripp G., Virginia Beach, Virginia
0 comments
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When the sun and moon broke up

TRENT: What did the moon say to the sun when they broke up?
SEAN: Tell me.
TRENT: “I think I need some space.”
Joke by Trent S., Plano, Texas
1 comments
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A gingerbread man’s bed

LORIN: What does the gingerbread man put on his bed?
BRICE: What?
LORIN: Cookie sheets.
Joke by Curren M., Virginia Beach, Virginia
0 comments
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Your city’s on the naughty list

Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments
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No kittens in the park

MARIANO: Why did the mother cat move her kittens away from the park?
BELLA: I’m stumped.
MARIANO: She didn’t want to be caught littering.
Joke by Mariano A., Lincoln, Nebraska
0 comments
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Chili in the wintertime

LEVI: Why don’t you eat chili in the wintertime?
LUCAS: Tell me.
LEVI: Because it would make you colder.
Joke by Christian W., Victoria, Kansas
0 comments
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Penguin in the Sahara Desert

LEIF: What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?
ANDREW: No idea.
LEIF: Lost.
Joke by Leif M., Colorado Springs, Colorado
0 comments
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