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A cat’s favorite treat

CHRISTIAN: What’s a cat’s favorite treat?
ELI: What?
CHRISTIAN: Mice-crispies.

Joke by Christian O., Red Wing, Minnesota
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A hare in my soup

Comic by Bob Vojtko
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If you have a Ph.D

WARPED WISEMAN WONDERS: If you have a Ph.D., doesn’t every meeting you go to become a doctor’s appointment?
Joke by Ella R., Lynnwood, Washington
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Santa’s bed

KAREN: What kind of bed does Santa have?
JIM: I’m stumped.
KAREN: A sleigh bed.
Joke by Karen C., Hopatcong, New Jersey
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You can’t give Elsa a balloon

WILLA: Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
DAISY: I’m not sure.
WILLA: Because she will let it go.
Joke by Willa S., Rockville, Maryland
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Money chomper

Comic by Jon Carter
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“Major Football Games”

A PUNNY BOOK: "Major Football Games" by Rose Bole.
Joke by Tom D., Grand Rapids, Minnesota
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Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cargo.

Justin: Knock, knock.
Cory: Who’s there?
Justin: Cargo.
Cory: Cargo, who?
Justin: Cargo in the garage.
Joke by Justin K., Rockville, Maryland
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A joke about yoga

LIAM: Have you heard the joke about yoga?
KYLE: No. What is it?
LIAM: Never mind; it’s a bit of a stretch.
Joke by Liam K., Charlotte, North Carolina
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No anchovies or pineapple on your pizza

Comic by Van Scott
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Knock, knock. Who’s there? Alpaca.

Zayn: Knock, knock.
Willy: Who’s there?
Zayn: Alpaca.
Willy: Alpaca, who?
Zayn: Alpaca the suitcase. You load up the car.
Joke by Zayn A., Winnetka, Illinois
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Why the baker needed to work so hard

EDWARD: Why did the baker need to work so hard?
MICHAEL: I’m stumped.
EDWARD: Because he had to make some dough.
Joke by Edward B., Rawlings, Maryland
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How mountains see

CAMILLE: How do mountains see?
SEAN: How?
CAMILLE: They peak.
Joke by Camille D., Wake Forest, North Carolina
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Thankful for vegetarians

Comic by Scott Nickel
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A Scout who can fly

DRAKE: What do you call a Scout who can fly?
RICK: What?
DRAKE: An Eagle Scout.
Joke by Drake L., Charlotte, North Carolina
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A machine that never lies

JAKE: What kind of machine never lies?
NIC: No clue.
JAKE: A fax machine.
Joke by Jake L. , Westford, Massachusetts
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Where horses live

NATHAN: Where do horses live?
JASON: I don’t know. Where?
NATHAN: In a neigh-borhood.
Joke by Nathan M., Joliet, Illinois
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Turkeysaurus rex

Comic by Scott Nickel
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Knock, knock. Who’s there? Oh, hi.

Riya: Knock, knock.
Bridget: Who’s there?
Riya: Oh, hi.
Bridget: Oh, hi,who?
Riya: No! It’s Ohio.
Joke by Riya T., Exeter, New Hampshire
0 comments
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Knock, knock. Who’s there? Repeat.

LEIF: Knock, knock.
PERRIN: Who’s there?
LEIF: Repeat.
PERRIN:Repeat, who?
LEIF: Who, who, who.”
Joke by Leif S., Jasper, Indiana
0 comments
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The turkey crossed the road twice

BEN: Why did the turkey cross the road twice?
DAWN: I don’t know.
BEN: To prove it’s not a chicken.
Joke by Ben H., Clifton Park, New York
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Made him from Thanksgiving mashed potatoes

Comic by Scott Nickel
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This knife needs sharpening

TOM SWIFTY: “This knife needs sharpening,” Tom said dully.
Joke by Luke S., Bristol, Tennessee
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What the lettuce said to the celery

Josh: What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Gina: Tell me.
Josh: “Quit stalking me!”
Joke by Josh A., Wake Forest, North Carolina
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What you call a greedy pig

JAMES: What do you call a greedy pig?
ROGER: What?
JAMES: A hog.
Joke by James H., Buffalo, New York
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We don’t have enough side dishes!

Comic by Scott Nickel
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Why bears don’t wear hiking boots

Jeangib: Why don’t bears wear hiking boots?
Tom: I don’t know.
Jeangib: Because they prefer to go barefoot.
Joke by Jeangib G., Rush Center, Kansas
0 comments
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Where sheep go on vacation

RYAN: Where do sheep go on vacation?
FRANK: No clue.
RYAN: The Baaahamas.
Joke by Ryan P., Tampa, Florida
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When two giraffes collide

JESSICA: What do you get when two giraffes collide?
JAMES: What?
JESSICA: A giraffic jam.
Joke by Jessica J. , Chanhassen, Minnesota
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Airline ticket to fly South

Comic by Harley Schwadron
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The candle-trimming shop

BRANDON: Why was the candle-trimming shop closed Monday through Friday?
SAMMY: I’m not sure.
BRANDON: Because the staff only works on wick ends.

Joke by Brandon G., Bremerton, Washington
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An instrument that a pickle plays

ELI: What kind of instrument does a pickle play?
ALEX: What?
ELI: A piccolo.
Joke by Elijah W., Pulaski, New York
0 comments
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What am I?

Ethan: I have a bed, but I don’t sleep.
I have a bank but no money.
I have a mouth but can’t talk.
What am I?
Alice: No idea.
Ethan: A river!
Joke by Ethan M., North Potomac, Maryland
0 comments
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