AT AN OPERA, a wife says to her husband, “It’s a shame the person in front of us fell asleep!” Then her husband grumbles and replies, “That’s not a reason to wake me up!” Joke by Anael B., Marietta, Georgia0 commentsLoading...
CRESENCIO: What do you call a sleeping bull? DAVID: What? CRESENCIO: A bulldozer. Joke by Cresencio A., Norwalk, California0 commentsLoading...
SCOUT: Mom, I’m really good at sleeping. MOM: Oh, really? SCOUT: Yes. I can do it with my eyes closed. Joke by William G., Fairfax, Virginia7 commentsLoading...
I am so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. Joke by Tyler S., Camden, North Carolina7 commentsLoading...
Sam: What do you call a sleepy woodcutter? Ben: What? Sam: A slumberjack. Joke by Sam D., Cumberland City, Tennessee1 commentsLoading...
Kendon: Why did the Scout take a ruler to bed with him? Jake: Why? Kendon: To see how long he slept. Joke by Kendon L., Elk Grove, California2 commentsLoading...
Joshua: How do you get a baby alien to sleep? Darren: How? Joshua: You rocket. Joke by Joshua N., Sparta, North Carolina2 commentsLoading...
Steven: I’m so good at sleeping. Ryan: How do you know? Steven: I can do it with my eyes closed. Joke by Steven C., Wildwood, Missouri8 commentsLoading...
Jacob: What do you call a sleepy police officer? Larry: What? Jacob: An undercovers cop. Joke by Jacob T., Chester, S.C.3 commentsLoading...
Peter: What kind of dreams do hotels have? Elaine: Tell me. Peter: Suite dreams. Joke by Paige S., Raleigh, N.C.1 commentsLoading...
Ismaael: Why did the man run around his bed? Will: Tell me. Ismaael: To catch up on his sleep! Joke by Ismaael A., Folsom, Calif.8 commentsLoading...
A man comes home after a hard day’s work and opens the refrigerator to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap. “What are you doing in my fridge?” the man asks. The squirrel opens one sleepy eye and says, “Isn’t this a Westinghouse?” “Um, yes,” the man replies. “It is." “Well then,” the squirrel says, shutting his eyes again, “I am twying to west.” Joke by David T., Bronx, N.Y.19 commentsLoading...
Alex: Where does a spy sleep? Carl: I don’t know. Alex: Undercover! Joke by Alexander G., Clay Center, Kan.10 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Boycott—A place for a young man to sleep. Joke by Jonathan P., Springfield, Mo.3 commentsLoading...
Warped Wiseman wonders: “If a child refuses to nap during the day, is he resisting a rest?” Joke by David M., Springfield, Va.8 commentsLoading...