Sleep jokes – Jokes by Scout Life

AT AN OPERA, a wife says to her husband, “It’s a shame the person in front of us fell asleep!”
Then her husband grumbles and replies, “That’s not a reason to wake me up!”

Joke by Anael B., Marietta, Georgia
0 comments

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CRESENCIO: What do you call a sleeping bull?
DAVID: What?
CRESENCIO: A bulldozer.

Joke by Cresencio A., Norwalk, California
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Comic by Scott Masear
0 comments

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SCOUT: Mom, I’m really good at sleeping.
MOM: Oh, really?
SCOUT: Yes. I can do it with my eyes closed.

Joke by William G., Fairfax, Virginia
7 comments

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Comic by Bob Vojtko
2 comments

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I am so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Joke by Tyler S., Camden, North Carolina
7 comments

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Sam: What do you call a sleepy woodcutter?
Ben: What?
Sam: A slumberjack.

Joke by Sam D., Cumberland City, Tennessee
1 comments

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Comic by Jon Carter
1 comments

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Kendon: Why did the Scout take a ruler to bed with him?
Jake: Why?
Kendon: To see how long he slept.

Joke by Kendon L., Elk Grove, California
2 comments

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Comic by Scott Masear
2 comments

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Joshua: How do you get a baby alien to sleep?
Darren: How?
Joshua: You rocket.

Joke by Joshua N., Sparta, North Carolina
2 comments

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Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments

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Steven: I’m so good at sleeping.
Ryan: How do you know?
Steven: I can do it with my eyes closed.

Joke by Steven C., Wildwood, Missouri
8 comments

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Comic by Thomas Toons
3 comments

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Jacob: What do you call a sleepy police officer?
Larry: What?
Jacob: An undercovers cop.

Joke by Jacob T., Chester, S.C.
3 comments

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Comic by Scott Nickel
2 comments

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Comic by Scott Nickel
5 comments

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Comic by Bill Thomas
0 comments

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Comic by Harley Schwadron
2 comments

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Peter: What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Elaine: Tell me.
Peter: Suite dreams.

Joke by Paige S., Raleigh, N.C.
1 comments

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Ismaael: Why did the man run around his bed?
Will: Tell me.
Ismaael: To catch up on his sleep!

Joke by Ismaael A., Folsom, Calif.
8 comments

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A man comes home after a hard day’s work and opens the refrigerator
to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap.

“What are you doing in my fridge?” the man asks.

The squirrel opens one sleepy eye and says, “Isn’t this a Westinghouse?”

“Um, yes,” the man replies. “It is."

“Well then,” the squirrel says, shutting his eyes again, “I am twying to west.”

Joke by David T., Bronx, N.Y.
19 comments

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Alex: Where does a spy sleep?
Carl: I don’t know.
Alex: Undercover!

Joke by Alexander G., Clay Center, Kan.
10 comments

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Daffynition: Boycott—A place for a young man to sleep.

Joke by Jonathan P., Springfield, Mo.
3 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “If a child refuses to nap during the day, is he resisting a rest?”

Joke by David M., Springfield, Va.
8 comments

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