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HomeSleep jokes

Sleep jokes

Comic by Scott Nickel
6 comments

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Comic by Bill Thomas
0 comments

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Comic by Harley Schwadron
2 comments

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Peter: What kind of dreams do hotels have?
Elaine: Tell me.
Peter: Suite dreams.

Joke by Paige S., Raleigh, N.C.
1 comments

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Ismaael: Why did the man run around his bed?
Will: Tell me.
Ismaael: To catch up on his sleep!

Joke by Ismaael A., Folsom, Calif.
11 comments

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A man comes home after a hard day’s work and opens the refrigerator
to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap.

“What are you doing in my fridge?” the man asks.

The squirrel opens one sleepy eye and says, “Isn’t this a Westinghouse?”

“Um, yes,” the man replies. “It is."

“Well then,” the squirrel says, shutting his eyes again, “I am twying to west.”

Joke by David T., Bronx, N.Y.
23 comments

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Alex: Where does a spy sleep?
Carl: I don’t know.
Alex: Undercover!

Joke by Alexander G., Clay Center, Kan.
13 comments

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Daffynition: Boycott—A place for a young man to sleep.

Joke by Jonathan P., Springfield, Mo.
5 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “If a child refuses to nap during the day, is he resisting a rest?”

Joke by David M., Springfield, Va.
9 comments

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Gavin: What do you call a tired skeleton?
Connor: Beats me.
Gavin: The “grim sleeper.”

Joke by Gavin H., Stoughton, Mass.
5 comments

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Nick: What do scuba divers wear to bed?
Greg: Tell me.
Nick: A snore-kel!

Joke by Nick N., Redwood City, Calif.
5 comments

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Andrew: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a duck?
Ariana: I haven’t a clue.
Andrew: A bird that gets up at the quack of dawn!

Joke by Andrew S., San Lorenzo, Calif.
7 comments

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Ryan: Where do books sleep?
Chris: Tell me.
Ryan: Under the covers.

Joke by Ryan F., Bountiful, Utah
5 comments

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Jon: What do you call someone who snores?
Frank: Beats me.
Jon: A “sound sleeper!”

Joke by Jon M., Central Point, Ore.
5 comments

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Phil: What are prehistoric monsters called when they sleep?
Matt: I don’t know. What?
Phil: “Dinosnores!”

Joke by Matthew P., Union, N.J.
12 comments

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Daffynition: Consciousness—That annoying time between naps.

Joke by Kevin G., Aston, Pa.
14 comments

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Karl: Why did the Scout put a ruler under his pillow?
Brock: I have no clue.
Karl: To see how long he could sleep!

Joke by Karl B., Lone Tree, Colo.
15 comments

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Sam: One night I dreamed I was a muffler.
Jeremy: Really? What happened?
Sam: I woke up exhausted.

Joke by Samuel E., Kemp, Tex.
23 comments

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Nick: What a nightmare -- I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow.
Rick: What’s so bad about that?
Nick: When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Joke by Nick S., Overland Park, Kan.
11 comments

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