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Penguin in the Sahara Desert

LEIF: What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert?
ANDREW: No idea.
LEIF: Lost.

Joke by Leif M., Colorado Springs, Colorado
0 comments

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Roller toaster

Comic by Johnny Hawkins
0 comments
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Bringing a rope to a crime scene

ASCHER: Why did the Scout bring a rope to a crime investigation?
MAURICE: Why?
ASCHER: To tie up loose ends.
Joke by Ascher L., Cary, Illinois
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This river is fast and bumpy

TOM SWIFTY: “This river is fast and bumpy,” Tom said rapidly.
Joke by Roger H., San Diego, California
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Who’s there? Alaska

STEVE: Knock, knock.
DAVE: Who’s there?
STEVE: Alaska.
DAVE: Alaska, who?
STEVE: Alaska again — what do you want for Christmas?
Joke by Rakesh V., Fremont, California
1 comments
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Snowman’s disappearing nose

Comic by Van Scott
0 comments
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The best gift

NATHAN: What is the best gift?
JAMES: I’m stumped.
NATHAN: A broken drum. You just can’t beat it!
Joke by Nathan N., Glendale, Arizona
0 comments
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Dog chasing a man on a bicycle

POLICEMAN: Your dog has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle.
BOY: That’s impossible. My dog doesn’t know how to ride a bicycle!
Joke by Lynn H., Eureka, California
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Your coldest relative

DANIEL: Who’s your coldest relative?
LAURA: I don’t know.
DANIEL: Aunt Arctica.
Joke by Daniel O., Willoughby Hills, Ohio
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Your city’s on the naughty list

Comic by Scott Nickel
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Clock enrolled in medical school

BRANDON: Why did the clock enroll in medical school?
BRICE: Why?
BRANDON: Because time heals all wounds.
Joke by Brandon G., Bremerton, Washington
1 comments
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“High Jump” by Lee Ping

A BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: High Jump by Lee Ping.
Joke by Daniel K., Lighthouse Point, Florida
1 comments
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Where penguins go to vote

SARA: Where do penguins go to vote?
TRIYA: I haven’t the foggiest.
SARAH: The South Poll.
Joke by Sarah B., Naperville, Illinois
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Trash can or trash can’t?

Comic by Kyle Bravo
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“How to Make an Honest Living”

BOOK NEVER WRITTEN: How to Make an Honest Living by Robin Steele.
Joke by Molly K., Ringgold, Georgia
0 comments
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Just using a candy cane

GINGERBREAD MAN: I hurt my knee while rock climbing.
GINGERBREAD WOMAN: Have you tried icing it?
GINGERBREAD MAN: Not yet. I’ve just been using a candy cane.
Joke by Mariano A., Lincoln, Nebraska
0 comments
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Construction for dogs

AYN: Which kind of construction are dogs best at?
NAN: No clue.
AYN: Roofing.
Joke by Ayn A., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
0 comments
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Santa’s dry cleaning

Comic by Scott Nickel
1 comments
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The quietest sport

JOHN: What’s the quietest sport?
NICK: Beats me.
JOHN: Bowling: You can hear a pin drop.
Joke by Carl N., Fair Haven, New Jersey
0 comments
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A room ghosts can’t enter

ELENA: What room can ghosts never go into?
TYE: I don’t know.
ELENA: The living room.
Joke by Elena G., Litchfield, Ohio
1 comments
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Angry firecracker

CURREN: Did you hear about the angry firecracker?
MICHAEL: What about it?
CURREN: It was so mad that it exploded.
Joke by Curren M., Virginia Beach, Virginia
0 comments
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Not the marble run again

Comic by Kyle Bravo
0 comments
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Dinosaurs afraid of Santa’s reindeer

ZACHARY: Which of Santa’s reindeer are dinosaurs afraid of?
LEE: Tell me.
ZACHARY: Comet!

Joke by Zachary A., Miami, Florida
1 comments
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Find it in December

DRAKE: You find it in December but not in any other month. What is it?
GINA: I don’t know.
DRAKE: The letter D!
Joke by Drake L., Charlotte, North Carolina
0 comments
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Superhero alloys

MATTHEW: What happened when Iron Man teamed up with the Silver Surfer?
JAKE: No idea.
MATTHEW: They became alloys.
Joke by Matthew K., Farmington, New Mexico
1 comments
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I told him iced coffee

Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments
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Worm in your apple

ANDY: What’s worse than having a worm in your apple?
TOM: No idea.
ANDY: Having half a worm in your apple.
Joke by Bradley C., Carlisle, Pennsylvania
0 comments
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How does Superman protect his spaceship?

AYN: What does Superman use to protect his spaceship from supernovas?
JOHN: I’m not sure.
AYN: Super glue.
Joke by Ayn A., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
0 comments
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Hamburger’s hairstyle

JOHN: Do you know how a hamburger wears its hair?
WALKER: No. How?
JOHN: In a bun!
Joke by John N., Grand Junction, Colorado
0 comments
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Nope on the ski slope

Comic by Harley Schwadron
0 comments
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Which side of the chicken has more feathers?

BRAD: Which side of the chicken has more feathers?
EDDIE: No idea.
BRAD: The outside.
Joke by Brad W., Englewood, Colorado
0 comments
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It was soda-pressing

CAYLEE: Why did the can crusher quit his job?
BAILEY: Why?
CAYLEE: Because it was soda-pressing.
Joke by Caylee J., Olathe, Kansas
0 comments
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Why the detective stayed in bed

NOLAN: Why did the detective stay in bed?
JONATHAN: Tell me.
NOLAN: Because he was undercover.
Joke by Nolan U., Charlotte, North Carolina
1 comments
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Penguin in the Sahara Desert
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