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Why the diamond went to therapy

LUKE: Why did the diamond go to therapy?
GREG: I don’t know.
LUKE: Because it was under a lot of pressure.

Joke by Luke K., Pasadena, Maryland
0 comments

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Too many invalid login attempts

Comic by Jon Carter
0 comments
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A bear walks into a restaurant

A bear walks into a restaurant and says, “I want a grilled ... cheese.”
The waiter says, “Why the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I don’t know. I was born with them.”
Joke by Nathan G., Chester Springs, Pennsylvania
0 comments
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Daffynition: Flashlight

DAFFYNITION: Flashlight — A container for dead batteries and broken bulbs, usually discovered on the first night of a campout.
Joke by Paul A., Bellevue, Nebraska
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Darth Vader’s favorite candy

ALLISON: What’s Darth Vader’s favorite candy?
SARAH: I don’t know.
ALLISON: Dark chocolate.
Joke by Allison J., Little Rock, Arkansas
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Human Torch’s New Year’s resolution

Comic by Scott Nickel
1 comments
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The most popular shape on Valentine’s Day

EVERETT: What shape is most popular on Valentine’s Day?
JASON: Tell me.
EVERETT: Acute triangle.
Joke by Everett F., Irvine, California
0 comments
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Why the cookie went to the doctor

ZOE: Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
LACY: I’m not sure.
ZOE: Because it was feeling crumby.
Joke by Zoe G., San Francisco, California
0 comments
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The smartest insect

JUSTIN: What insect is the smartest?
MADDY: Tell me.
JUSTIN: A spelling bee.
Joke by Justin G., Merritt Island, Florida
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Putting a sweater on a cat

Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments
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Don’t leave food near your computer

NIKHIL: Don’t leave food near your computer.
KEVIN: Why not?
NIKHIL: Because it takes a lot of bytes.
Joke by Nikhil B., Camas, Washington
0 comments
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Tennis is a loud sport

Brandon: Why is tennis a loud sport?
Andy: Why?
Brandon: Because of the racket.
Joke by Brandon G., Bremerton, Washington
0 comments
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What the magical candy bar said

CURREN: What did one magical candy bar say to the other magical candy bar?
JOSIAH: What?
CURREN: “I’ve got some Twix up my sleeve.”
Joke by Curren M., Virginia Beach, Virginia
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Hulk helps out Santa

Comic by Scott Nickel
1 comments
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What the quarterback said to the Scout?

BEN: What did the quarterback say to the Scout?
BRYSON: What?
BEN: “Hike!”
Joke by Ben C., Oxford, Connecticut
0 comments
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A Change in the Weather

A PUNNY BOOK: "A Change in the Weather" by Gus T. Winds.
Joke by Annie M., West Linn, Oregon
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A snowman’s favorite cereal

Michael: What’s a snowman’s favorite cereal?
Christopher: What?
Michael: Frosted Flakes.
Joke by Michael M., Sherman, Connecticut
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Move Dracula to the nice list

Comic by Scott Nickel
1 comments
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A snowman’s favorite snack

Jean: What’s a snowman’s favorite snack?
Hailey: I don’t know.
Jean: Sno-reos.
Joke by Jean M., Ankeny, Iowa
1 comments
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Knock, knock. Who’s there? Polar Bears

TATYANA: Knock, knock.
BRYCE: Who’s there?
TATYANA: Polar bears.
BRYCE: Polar bears, who?
TATYANA: No, polar bears roar.
Joke by Tatyana K., Chattaroy, Washington
0 comments
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What snowmen order at Wendy’s

AYN: What do snowmen order at Wendy’s?
AMBER: What?
AYN: Frosties.
Joke by Ayn A., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
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Santa’s night light

Comic by Van Scott
0 comments
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There aren’t any ants at the North Pole

SIDDHARTH: Why aren’t there any ants at the North Pole?
DEEPAK: I don’t know. Why?
SIDDHARTH: They all live in Ant-arctica.
Joke by Siddharth G., Foster City, California
0 comments
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Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dexter.

JOSH: Knock, knock.
SAMANTHA: Who’s there?
JOSH: Dexter.
SAMANTHA: Dexter, who?
JOSH: Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
Joke by Josh B. , Dublin, Ohio
0 comments
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A snowman with a six-pack

Matthew: What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
Tina: Tell me.
Matthew: The abdominal snowman.
Joke by Matthew U., Lincroft, New Jersey
0 comments
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Trouble with your knight vision

Comic by Jon Carter
0 comments
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What the reindeer said to the football player

PEE WEE: What did the reindeer say to the football player?
WESTY: I don’t know.
PEE WEE: “Your Blitzen days are over!”
Joke by Nhan P., Camp Hill, Pennsylvania
0 comments
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Why the tree went to the ice-cream shop

BRANDON: Why did the tree go to the ice-cream shop?
TAYLOR: I’m stumped.
BRANDON: To get a pine cone.
Joke by Brandon G., Bremerton, Washington
0 comments
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A tree’s favorite subject

AUSTIN: What’s a tree’s favorite subject?
SALLY: I’m stumped.
AUSTIN: Chemis-tree.
Joke by Austin L. , Vestavia Hills, Alabama
0 comments
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Pinch to zoom

Comic by Kyle Bravo
0 comments
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Knock. knock. Who’s there? Water

JAMES: Knock, knock.
RON: Who’s there?
JAMES: Water.
RON: Water, who?
JAMES: Water you waiting for?
Joke by James P., McKinney, Texas
0 comments
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How many cookies are left?

TEACHER: Bob, if you had 10 cookies and I asked you for three, how many cookies would you have left?
BOB: If you asked me? 10.
Joke by Jason F., Maple Grove, Minnesota
0 comments
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Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lettuce

CASEY: Knock, knock.
PAT: Who’s there?
CASEY: Lettuce.
PAT: Lettuce, who?
CASEY: Lettuce in. It’s cold out here.
Joke by Zeeshan N., Bridgeport, Connecticut
0 comments
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