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HomeMoney jokes

Money jokes

SIMEON: Where do snowmen keep their money?
SARAH: I don’t know.
SIMEON: The snowbank.

Joke by Simeon J., Omaha, Arkansas 
0 comments

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Comic by Bob Vojtko
2 comments

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WARPED WISEMAN WONDERS: “If time is money, then is an ATM a time machine?”

Joke by Max R., Plymouth, Michigan
1 comments

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Tai: Where does a snowman keep his money?
Hannah: Where?
Tai: In a snowbank.

Joke by Tai C., Hancock, Michigan
0 comments

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Comic by Bob Vojtko
1 comments

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CHRISTIAN: What do you call money that isn’t yours?
ABBY: I don’t know. What?
CHRISTIAN: Nacho cheddar!

Joke by Christian S., Baltimore, Maryland
1 comments

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CONNOR: What kind of piano can you buy for $1,000?
EDNA: What kind?
CONNOR: A grand piano.

Joke by Connor B., Ellicott City, Maryland
4 comments

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PATRICK: How do you know when the moon is going broke?
BILL: I don’t know.
PATRICK: When it’s down to its last quarter.

Joke by Austin T., Carpentersville, Illinois
2 comments

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Miles: What did the football coach say to the vending machine?
Niles: I don’t know.
Miles: “Give me my quarterback.”

Joke by Miles H., Bexley, Ohio
9 comments

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Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments

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Mark: Where do fish keep their money?
Kevin: Where?
Mark: In a riverbank.

 

Joke by Tony L., Spokane, Washington
3 comments

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Dad: Great news, son! We’ve saved enough money to go to Disneyland.
Son: That’s great! When are we going?
Dad: As soon as we save enough to get back.

 

Joke by Charles L., Clarksburg, West Virginia
5 comments

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Silas: How much money does a skunk have?
Craig: No clue.
Silas: Just one scent.

 

Joke by Marty H., Portland, Oregon
5 comments

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George: What’s luckier than finding a heads-up penny?
Lincoln: I don’t know. What?
George: Finding a heads-up quarter.

Joke by Diego C., New Braunfels, Texas
0 comments

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Silas: How much money does a skunk have?
Craig: No clue.
Silas: Just one scent.

Joke by Marty H., Portland, Oregon
0 comments

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Andrew: Why did the football coach shake the vending machine?
Luke: I have no idea.
Andrew: He wanted a quarterback.

 

Joke by Aron W., Katy, Texas
4 comments

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Jake: Why did the baker get a second job?
Tom: Why?
Jake: He needed some extra dough.

Joke by Jake M., Cedar Park, Texas
5 comments

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Merlin: I can do magic.
Arthur: Then pull a quarter out of my ear.
Merlin: I can’t. There’s no sense in there.

Joke by Eric G., Marquette, Mich.
16 comments

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John: Why didn’t the crab give any money to charity?
Mark: Beats me.
John: Because he was shellfish.

Joke by Eric C., Santa Clara, Utah
2 comments

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A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They’re immediately taken back to a room.

Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.

“This must be a mistake,” the man says. “I’ve been here only 20 minutes!”

“No mistake,” the doctor says. “It’s $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.”

Joke by Daniel H., Caledonia, Michigan
11 comments

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Josh: Which nut can be used as money?
Jim: I haven’t the foggiest.
Josh: A cash-ew.

Joke by Joshua M., Allison Park, Pa.
5 comments

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Andrew: What did the landscaper say after he received his payment?
Ross: I don’t know.
Andrew: “Thank you very mulch.”

Joke by Andrew H., Kirkwood, Mo.
1 comments

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Daffynition: Quarterback — A small refund.

Joke by Billy N., Charlotte, N.C.
2 comments

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A book never written: “Make Big Bucks” by Phil T. Rich.

Joke by Lucas N., Centerville, Minn.
3 comments

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David: What’s the difference between Ben Franklin and a duck?
Lily: I don’t know.
David: One has his face on a bill; the other has a bill on his face.

Joke by David M., Travelers Rest, S.C.
5 comments

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