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HomeMoney jokes

Money jokes

A book never written: “Make Big Bucks” by Phil T. Rich.

Joke by Lucas N., Centerville, Minn.
3 comments

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David: What’s the difference between Ben Franklin and a duck?
Lily: I don’t know.
David: One has his face on a bill; the other has a bill on his face.

Joke by David M., Travelers Rest, S.C.
5 comments

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Jon: How does the ocean pay its water bill?
Jay: I haven’t a clue.
Jon: With sand dollars.

Joke by Jon M., Central Point, Ore.
4 comments

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Greg: What’s the best thing to do when a bull is charging?
Nic: Tell me.
Greg: Just pay him!

Joke by Greg S., El Dorado Hills, Calif.
7 comments

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Jaron: Why can’t banks keep secrets?
Jim: Tell me.
Jaron: There are too many tellers!

Joke by Jaron S., Saline, Mich.
3 comments

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Howard: What do you call a discount at the boat store?
Susan: I don’t know.
Howard: A “two-for-one sail.”

Joke by Howard W., Spring Hill, Fla.
1 comments

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A man went to the hardware store and asked for nails.
“How long do you want them?” asked the salesman.
“Oh,” said the customer, “I was rather hoping to keep them.

Joke by Tony C., Lititz, Pa.
11 comments

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Daffynition: Play-Doh—Fake money.

Joke by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.
6 comments

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A book never written: “The Art of Giving” by Phil Anthropy.

Joke by Gautam R., Danville, Calif.
1 comments

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Bill: What do you give the teller at a virtual bank?
Will: I dunno.
Bill: A reality check!

Joke by Joel R., American Fork, Utah
4 comments

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Greg: I have a wonder watch. It only cost 50 cents.
Dillon: Why is it called a wonder watch?
Greg: Because every time I look at it, I wonder if it’s still working!

Joke by Greg S., El Dorado Hills, Calif.
15 comments

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Pedro: Who can drive all their customers away and still make money?
The Boss: Who?
Pedro: Taxi drivers!

Joke by Drew M., Meridian, Idaho
4 comments

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Greg: I have a wonder watch. It only cost 50 cents.
Dillon: Why is it called a wonder watch?
Greg: Because every time I look at it, I wonder if it’s still working!

Joke by Greg S., El Dorado Hills, Calif.
4 comments

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A book never written: “Deep in Debt” by Owen A. Lott.

Joke by Jonathan B., Seagrove, N.C.
8 comments

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Daffynition: Paradigm shift—When someone takes 20 cents from you.

Joke by Kit K., Monrovia, Md.
3 comments

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A book never written: “How to Make a Killing in a Bull Market” by Butch Herr.

Joke by Matthew W., Spring City, Pa.
5 comments

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Chris: Knock, knock.
TJ: Who’s there?
Chris: Cash.
TJ: Cash, who?
Chris: No, thanks. I prefer peanuts!

Joke by Christian V., Lyme, Conn.
2 comments

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A book never written: “Accounting” by Penny N. Dimes.

Joke by Kenny G., Denville, N.J.
2 comments

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Matt: What do you call a very poor cat?
Kate: No idea. What?
Matt: A “paw-purr.”

Joke by Matthew D., The Colony, Tex.
4 comments

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Patient: Doctor, how much will it cost to have this splinter taken out?
Doctor: About $70.
Patient: Seventy dollars? For just a couple of seconds of work?
Doctor: I can pull it out very slowly if you prefer.

Joke by Greg V., Spring Hill, Kan.
7 comments

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Zach: What did the dime say to the nickel after it told a bad joke?
Sarah: I don’t know.
Zach: “That didn’t make cents.”

Joke by Zachary W., Milford, Del.
8 comments

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Robert: What period of music was the poorest?
Michael: Tell me.
Robert: The Baroque period!

Joke by Robert C., Buffalo, N.Y.
12 comments

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Tom: How do rodeo cowboys become rich?
Bill: You stumped me.
Tom: Their horses always give them a buck or two.

Joke by Drew B., McMinnville, Ore.
6 comments

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Daffynition: Doughnut—Someone crazy about money.

Joke by Miles K., Denton, Tex.
11 comments

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A book never written: “How to Win the Lottery” by Jack Pott.

Joke by Mark T., Pickerington, Ohio
8 comments

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