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HomePolice jokes

Police jokes

Comic by Scott Masear
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Comic by Scott Nickel
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Comic by Scott Masear
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Comic by Scott Masear
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Josh: What do you call an alligator in a vest?
Jake: I haven’t the foggiest.
Josh: An investigator!

Joke by Joshua L., West Hampton, Mass.
8 comments

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Clark: Why did the burglar wear blue gloves?
Monty: Why?
Clark: He didn’t want to get caught redhanded!

Joke by Noah J., Granite Bay, Calif.
3 comments

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Jacob: What do you call a sleepy police officer?
Larry: What?
Jacob: An undercovers cop.

Joke by Jacob T., Chester, S.C.
3 comments

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Comic by Scott Nickel
4 comments

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Bill: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?
McKenzie: Why?
Bill: It didn’t have a haunting license.

Joke by Howard H., Newark, Calif.
3 comments

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A book never written: “Getting the Truth” by Paul E. Graff.

Joke by Austin R., Ocoee, Fla.
9 comments

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Owen: On which show do detectives solve crimes committed by lawn gnomes?
Oscar: Tell me.
Owen: “Lawn Order.”

Joke by Owen K., Hurley, N.Y.
4 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “If the Energizer Bunny were arrested, would he be charged with battery?”

Joke by Matthew P., Morton Grove, Ill.
6 comments

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Daffynition: Briefcase—An easily solved mystery.

Joke by Cameron G., Destin, Fla.
5 comments

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A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man’s truck and said, “Why are these penguins in your truck?”

The man replied, “These are my penguins. They belong to me.”

“You need to take them to the zoo,” the policeman said.

The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. “I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer said.

“I did,” the man replied. “And today I’m taking them to the beach."

Joke by Michael V., Tallahassee, Fla.
50 comments

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A book never written: “Good Detective Work” by Mr. E. Solved

Joke by Michael O., Finksburg, Md.
3 comments

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Nick: Did you hear about the celery that got arrested?
Noah: No, I didn’t.
Nick: Yeah, it was accused of stalking.

Joke by Nick N., Peru, Ill.
16 comments

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George: What happened to the robber who stole a lamp?
Michael: Tell me.
George: He got a very light sentence.

Joke by Martin R., Belmont, Mass.
4 comments

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Police officer: Why did you park here?
Billy: The sign says, “Fine for parking.”

Joke by Patrick H., Sedalia, Mo.
9 comments

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A book never written: “Prison Security” by Barb Wire.

Joke by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.
8 comments

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An old lady was knitting as she drove.  A police officer drove up alongside her and yelled: “Pull over!” The lady yelled back: “No—they’re mittens.”

Joke by Andrew S., San Lorenzo, Calif.
12 comments

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Joe: What do you call a reptile that goes undercover?
Billy: I don’t know.
Joe: An “investi-gator.”

Joke by Neil B., Hartville, Ohio
3 comments

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Tim: What does a frog use to keep away burglars?
Tom: I have no idea.
Tim: A lily pad-lock.

Joke by Adam W., West Chester, Pa.
0 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is it called the Secret Service if everyone knows about it?”

Joke by Ryan A., Fairborn, Ohio
2 comments

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Bill: Who’s the most famous lawn detective?
Sam: I don’t know.
Bill: Sherlock Gnomes!

Joke by Billy H., Troy, N.Y.
4 comments

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Bob: Why was the cap arrested?
Joe: I don’t know.
Bob: It was covering for the marker!

Joke by Erich G., Bluffton, S.C.
4 comments

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