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HomePolice jokes

Police jokes

An old lady was knitting as she drove.  A police officer drove up alongside her and yelled: “Pull over!” The lady yelled back: “No—they’re mittens.”

Joke by Andrew S., San Lorenzo, Calif.
12 comments

Joe: What do you call a reptile that goes undercover?
Billy: I don’t know.
Joe: An “investi-gator.”

Joke by Neil B., Hartville, Ohio
3 comments

Tim: What does a frog use to keep away burglars?
Tom: I have no idea.
Tim: A lily pad-lock.

Joke by Adam W., West Chester, Pa.
1 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is it called the Secret Service if everyone knows about it?”

Joke by Ryan A., Fairborn, Ohio
4 comments

Bill: Who’s the most famous lawn detective?
Sam: I don’t know.
Bill: Sherlock Gnomes!

Joke by Billy H., Troy, N.Y.
5 comments

Bob: Why was the cap arrested?
Joe: I don’t know.
Bob: It was covering for the marker!

Joke by Erich G., Bluffton, S.C.
4 comments

Daffynition: Context—Instant message sent by a criminal.

Joke by Erich G., Bluffton, S.C.
5 comments

A police officer stops a car going 75 when the speed limit is 65. The officer asks the man driving if he realizes he was speeding.

The man replies, "Look right there -- that sign says the speed limit is 75."

The officer explains that that's the highway number, not the speed limit. As he says this, he looks in the back of the car and sees an elderly woman breathing very heavily.

The officer asks her if she's O.K., and she says, "Yes, we just got off of Highway 155."

Joke by Samuel E., Coweta, Okla.
195 comments

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