6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

Brad: Pete and Repeat go on a boat ride. Pete falls out. Who’s left?

Tad: Repeat.

Brad: O.K. Pete and Repeat go on a boat ride. Pete falls out. Who’s left?

Tad: Repeat, I said.

Brad: O.K. Pete and Repeat go on a boat ride. Pete falls out. Who’s left?

Tad: REPEAT!

Brad: Pete and Repeat go on a boat ride…

Joke by Bradley B., Williston, Vt.
30 comments

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Max: What did one fly say to the other fly?

Josh: I don’t know. What?

Max: “Your human is open.”

Joke by Max D., Cockeysville, Md.
4 comments

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A book never written: “How to Survive a Bear Attack” by Ben Eaton.

Joke by Alex A., Meridian, Idaho
6 comments

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Marsha: Will you remember me tomorrow?

John: Yes.

Marsha: Will you remember me in a month?

John: Yes.

Marsha: Will you remember me in a year?

John: Yes.

Marsha: Will you remember me in five years?

John: Yes.

Marsha: Knock, knock.

John: Who’s there?

Marsha: See? You forgot me already!

Joke by Jimmy B., Alpena, Mich.
27 comments

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Ethan: Where do you get dragon milk?

Arnold: Where?

Ethan: From a cow with short legs.

Joke by Ethan K., Mona, Utah
2 comments

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Dad: You’ll never amount to anything because you procrastinate.

Son: Oh yeah? Just you wait!

Joke by Matt A., Bellevue, Neb.
3 comments

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Aaron: How many paws does a bear have?
Sharon: Four.
Aaron: Nope. Just one. Plus one maw.

Joke by Aaron G., Middleton, Idaho
15 comments

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Girl: Would you help me if I were a maiden in distress?

Boy: Sure! But it wouldn’t matter what you were wearing.

Joke by Andrew G., Dunedin, Fla.
3 comments

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Sam: What do you call a jellyfish that just got stepped on?

Pam: What?

Sam: Jam.

Joke by Sam M., St. Paul, Minn.
0 comments

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Matt: Did you hear about the man who ran over himself?

Nat: Really? What happened?

Matt: Well, he was waiting at the bus stop when he asked a boy to run across the street to get him a package of gum. The boy refused, so the man ran over himself.

Joke by Matthew B., Hillsboro, N.H.
6 comments

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Tommy: What did King Kong say when his sister had a baby?

Ronnie: What?

Tommy: “Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!”

Joke by Tommy M., New Hope, Pa.
1 comments

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Danny: What kind of horse has six legs?

Sammy: What?

Danny: All horses. They have forelegs in front and two legs behind.

Joke by Danny S., Zanesville, Ohio
11 comments

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Chris: Why did you kill my pet anaconda?

Sis: I realized it had a crush on me.

Joke by Chris N., Vicenza, Italy
1 comments

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Trevor: What’s an orange gopher?

Trey: I have no idea.

Trevor: About a quarter each.

Joke by Trevor Q., Silverado, Calif.
6 comments

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Dusty: Why was the broom late for breakfast?

Rusty: Why?

Dusty: It overswept.

Joke by Justin C., River Falls, Wis.
9 comments

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“Am I going to be all right?” asked the patient as the doctor arrived with his test results.

“I’m sorry, sir, but you don’t have much longer to live.”

“How much longer?” the man asked.

“Five,” the doctor replied.

“Five what? Years? Months? Days?”

The doctor, looking at his watch, interrupted: “Four….”

Joke by Gregory J. H., Cypress, Calif.
47 comments

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Zach: What’s smarter than a talking cat?

Jack: What?

Zach: A spelling bee.

Joke by Zachary S., Lexington, Ky.
3 comments

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Nate: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

Tate: What?

Nate: A nervous wreck.

Joke by Nathan B., Muskogee, Okla.
1 comments

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Tim: Do you know how I got straight A’s?

Jim: How?

Tim: I used a ruler!

Joke by Aaron P., Kinsman, Ohio
12 comments

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Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a bell!

Doctor: Take these pills. If they don’t work, give me a ring.

Joke by William P., Hershey, Pa.
1 comments

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A book never written: “Crunchy Noodles” by Ross P. Getty.

Joke by Willie J., Benson, Utah
1 comments

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A farm boy accidentally overturned a wagonload of corn on the road.

A farmer who lived nearby went over to have a look and found the boy trying to right the tipped wagon.

“Hey, Willie,” the farmer said, “forget your troubles for a spell and come have dinner with us. I’ll help you with that wagon after we eat.”

“That’s mighty nice of you, but Pa won’t like that,” Willie replied.

“Aw, come on, son. Take a break,” the farmer insisted.

“Well, O.K.,” the boy finally agreed, “but Pa won’t like it.”

After a hearty meal, Willie thanked the farmer. “I feel a lot better now, but I know that Pa will be upset.”

“Nonsense,” the farmer said. “Where is your pa anyway?”

“Under the wagon.”

Joke by Elizabeth R., Junction City, Ore.
168 comments

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Patient: Doctor, doctor, can you help me out?

Doctor: Sure. Which way did you come in?

Joke by Justin M., Houston, Tex.
6 comments

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Will: What did the bird general say to its army?

Bill: What?

Will: “Re-tweet!”

Joke by Will B., Winchester, Mass.
3 comments

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A woman was telling the man sitting beside her on the train about her visit to San Jose, Calif. He was confused at first, then understood why.

“Excuse me,” he said, “but you’re saying it wrong. The J sounds like H. It’s San Hosay. So when were you there?”

“In Hune and Huly.”

Joke by Justin A., Oquawka, Ill.
0 comments

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