6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

A book never written: “How to Behave in School” by Dee Tension.

Joke by Clayton C., Midland, Tex.
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Manny: Why did the computer go to the doctor?

Mary: Why?

Manny: Because its megahertz.

Joke by Anderson G., Harrison, N.Y.
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Drew: What kind of fish do pelicans eat?

Stew: I have no idea.

Drew: Whatever fits the bill.

Joke by Drew V., Bristow, Va.
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Jacob: I have a lot of my dad’s genes.

Dave: Really? I bet they don’t fit.

Joke by David B., North Muskegon, Mich.
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A book never written: “I Hate Gardening” by Ida Hoe.

Joke by Morgan S., Elk Mound, Wis.
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Liz: Where do ants go for vacation?

Lorna: Where?

Liz: Frants!

Joke by Elizabeth D., Mayville, N.Y.
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A book never written: “The First Years of Life” by Todd Lerr.

Joke by Matthew S., Savannah, Ga.
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Teacher: Johnny, use the word “disoriented” in a sentence.

Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “After being deported from Japan, Jimmy was feeling disoriented.”

Joke by Ryan H., Woods Cross, Utah
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Mike: What has three feet and no toes?

Ike: What?

Mike: A yardstick.

Joke by Ben B., Wilson, N.C.
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Sign in restaurant: Eat Now, Pay Waiter.

Joke by Zack P.
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Jacques: Knock, knock.

Jill: Who’s there?

Jacques: Eiffel.

Jill: Eiffel, who?

Jacques: Eiffel awful. Let’s get down off this tower!

Joke by Treston T., Enterprise, Ala.
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Teacher: Johnny, use the word “descent” in a sentence.

Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “Descent in de locker room makes my eyes water.”

Joke by Michael T., Bradley, Ill.
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Bob: What do you call a bird that flies into a fan?

Rob: What?

Bob: Shredded tweet.

Joke by Anthony C., Porterville, Calif.
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An angler noticed a small boy holding a fish and asked if he’d caught it all by himself. “No,” replied the boy. “A worm helped.”

Joke by Suzan L. W., Springhill, Fla.
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Bill: Lester sure has a weird sense of humor.

Bo: How so?

Bill: He went to the antiques shop and asked, “What’s new?”

Joke by Steve G., Woods Cross, Utah
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A book never written: “How to Make 3-D Movies” by Tootie Mensional.

Joke by Alex B., Montevallo, Ala.
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Devin: How many cockroaches does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Kevin: How many?

Devin: Don’t know. Once the light turns on, they scatter.

Joke by Devin A., Gresham, Ore.
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Jake: What did the hot dog say when it won the race?

Josh: What?

Jake: I’m a wiener!

Joke by Peter H., Danbury, Conn.
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A book never written: “I Love Cable TV” by Ann Tenna.

Joke by Stephanie P., Arkadelphia, Ark.
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Mike: I heard you got kicked out of the zoo last week.

Ike: Yeah. I got caught feeding the squirrels.

Mike: Wow! That sounds like really strong punishment.

Ike: Actually, I was feeding the squirrels to the cougars.

Joke by Wade R., West Point, Utah
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Tommy: What do you call a pig without legs?

Timmy: What?

Tommy: A groundhog.

Joke by Tommy M., Apple Valley, Minn.
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A book never written: “How to Become a Compassionate Person” by Ophelia Paine.

Joke by Carson C., Trussville, Ala.
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A group of cows met in a field. They considered forming a union and asking the farmer for better working conditions. Most of the cows were reluctant, but then their leader spoke up passionately: “Together we stand! Divided we’re steak!”

Joke by Kevin F., Broomall, Pa.
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John: Why did the lone dolphin try to beach itself?

Ron: Why?

John: Because it felt it had no porpoise in life.