Tom Swiftie Jokes: Laugh at this hilarious, classic pun-based humor

Tom Swiftie: “My favorite number is two,” Tom said evenly.

Joke by Jacob A., Saratoga Springs, Utah
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Tom Swiftie: “Can you hand me that feather?” Tom asked lightly.

Joke by Marcus H., Cleveland Heights, Ohio
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Tom Swiftie: “I’d like to sit at the back of the boat,” Tom said sternly.

Joke by Thomas P., Pensacola, Florida
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Tom Swiftie: “Can you hand me that feather?” Tom said lightly.

Joke by Marcus H., Cleveland Heights, Ohio
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Tom Swiftie: “I’d love to live in Maine or Oklahoma,” Tom stated.

Joke by Thomas F., New Providence, New Jersey
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Tom Swiftie: “Don’t light those fireworks!” Tom exploded.

Joke by Jeffrey D., Lansing, Michigan
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Tom Swiftie: “I always arrive a few minutes late,” Tom said fashionably.

Joke by Thomas F., New Providence, New Jersey
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Tom Swiftie: “The days are getting shorter,” Tom said quickly.

Joke by Robert B., Decatur, Georgia
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Tom Swiftie: “Let’s watch Star Wars!” Tom said forcefully.

Joke by Stephen C., Alexandria, Virginia.
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Tom Swiftie: “This lemon is much too sour,” Tom said bitterly.

Joke by Dorian H., North Royalton, Ohio
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Tom Swiftie: “This sauce is full of ﬂavor,” Tom said zestfully.

Joke by Cooper S., Averill Park, New York
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Tom Swiftie: “Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes,” Tom said sheepishly.

Joke by Stephen B., Redmond, Washington
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Tom Swiftie: “Now how am I going to know what to buy at the grocery store?” Tom said listlessly.

Joke by Brock F., Marlow, Oklahoma
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Tom Swiftie: “Put those knives down!” Tom said sharply.

Joke by Noah D., Kansas City, Mo.
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Tom Swiftie: “Granite or marble,” Tom countered.

Joke by Dylan H., Medfield, Mass.
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Tom Swiftie: “I have a frog in my throat,” Tom croaked.

Joke by Kenny G., Pleasant Grove, Utah
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Tom Swiftie: “There’s something in my nose!” Tom snorted.

Joke by David F., Pepperell, Mass.
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Tom Swiftie: “I love explosions,” Tom boomed.

Joke by Jacob A., Middletown, Md.
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Tom Swiftie: “I bought a parakeet yesterday,” Tom chirped.

Joke by Scott K., Luray, Va.
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Tom Swiftie: “Stand still so that I can take the picture,” Tom snapped.

Joke by Sanjeev U., Alpharetta, Ga.
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Tom Swiftie: “That seal is a bit chubby,” Tom blubbered.

Joke by Jonah L., Anchorage, Alaska
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Tom Swiftie: “Three plus three equals six,” Tom added.

Joke by James L., Davis, Calif.
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Tom Swiftie: “I can’t think of anything to write,” Tom said blankly.

Joke by Damien F., Hillsborough, N.J.
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Tom Swiftie: “Add a bit more spice,” Tom said gingerly.

Joke by Leo P., Reno, Nev.
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Tom Swiftie: “I’m over here!” Tom said distantly.

Joke by Nathan D., Camarillo, Calif.
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