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HomeRestaurant jokes

Restaurant jokes

Two jumper cables walk into a restaurant.
A waiter says, “You two better not start anything.”

Joke by Dade M., Washington, Utah
1 comments

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Comic by Scott Nickel
4 comments

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Comic by Nathan Cooper
1 comments

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Chris: Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
Bryan: No. How is it?
Chris: It had great food, but no atmosphere.

Joke by Chris B., West Chester, Ohio
8 comments

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Comic by Scott Nickel
0 comments

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Comic by Daryll Collins
0 comments

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Comic by Scott Nickel
12 comments

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Comic by Scott Nickel
4 comments

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Comic by Nathan Cooper
3 comments

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Comic by Thomastoons
1 comments

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Lesley: What did the plate say to the silverware?
Dillon: I don’t know. Tell me.
Lesley: “Dinner’s on me!”

Joke by Lesley R., Clinton, Utah
2 comments

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A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries. 

“Sounds great,” said the health-conscious boy. He ordered some. 

He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container. 

“Wait a minute,” the boy said. “Those don’t look fat-free.” 

“Sure they are,” the cook said. “We charge only for the potatoes. The fat is free!”

Joke by Sam S., Birmingham, Ala.
31 comments

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Two friends are walking their dogs -- a Dalmatian and a Chihuahua -- when they smell something delicious coming from a nearby restaurant.

The guy with the Dalmatian says, “Let’s get something to eat.”

But the guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there, we have dogs with us.” 

So the first guy says, “Just follow my lead.” He puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks into the restaurant. 

“Sorry,” says the owner, “no pets allowed.” 

“But this is my seeing-eye dog,” the guy with the Dalmatian says. 

“A Dalmatian?” 

“Yes, they’re using them now.” 

The owner says, “Very well, then, come on in.” 

The guy with the Chihuahua repeats the process and gets the same response from the owner: “Sorry, pal, no pets allowed.” 

“But this is my seeing-eye dog,” says the second guy. 

“A Chihuahua?” asks the incredulous owner. 

“A Chihuahua?!,” says the man in the dark glasses. “They gave me a Chihuahua?!”

Joke by Wade S., Norfolk, Neb.
85 comments

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Customer: Do you serve crabs here?

Waiter: We serve everyone. Sit right down.

Joke by Josh G., Brentwood, Tenn.
8 comments

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