6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

The kindergarten class was choosing partners for a project. Brennan’s mom told him, “Choose wisely.”

“O.K., Mom,” Brennan said. “But who is Wisely?”

Joke by Brennan O., Pittsford, N.Y.
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A book never written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave.

Joke by Micheal R., Brewton, Ala.
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Johnny: A man leaves home, takes a left, another left, one more left and heads home. There are two masked men waiting there for him. Who are they?

Bobby: Let me guess: Robbers?

Johnny: Nope! The catcher and the umpire.

Joke by Timothy B., Somerset, Pa.
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Pedro: What was the patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?

Ordep: I don’t know. What?

Pedro: Chicken Catch-a-Tory!

Joke by Greg B., Corning, N.Y.
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Rick: What do you call people who cross busy Los Angeles streets?

Ted: I haven’t the foggiest.

Rick: The L.A. Dodgers.

Joke by Thomas H., Louisville, Ky.
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Harry: What do you call an American drawing?

John: What?

Harry: Yankee doodle!

Joke by Aubrey T., Jackson, Miss.
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Andrew: Why did the cantaloupe jump into the water?

Shane: Why?

Andrew: It wanted to be a watermelon.

Joke by Andrew P., Huntington Beach, Calif.
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Dave: What did the alien say to the garden?

Steve: What?

Dave: “Take me to your weeder.”

Joke by Dave T., Foresthill, Calif.
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Drew: Why is it so easy to weigh a fish?

Amy: Why?

Drew: Because it comes with scales.

Joke by Drew N., Milford, Mich.
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David: Why did the chicken cross the playground?

Liz: I don’t know.

David: To get to the other slide!

Joke by David S., Wexford, Pa.
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Teacher: Jimmy, please use the word “asbestos” in a sentence.

Jimmy: Yes, ma’am. “As best as I can tell, homework is a waste of time.”

Joke by Jonathan D., Rockville, Md.
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Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?

Student: You are pretty.

Teacher: What’s the direct object?

Student: A good report card.

Joke by Samuel E., Coweta, Okla.
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Brett: How did Vikings send secret messages?

Kirk: How?

Brett: By Norse code!

Joke by Brett C., Baytown, Tex.
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A book never written: “Managing Your Inheritance” by Ben E. Factor.

Joke by Brendan L., Seattle, Wash.
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Matt: Why did John the Baptist take his shoes off before going into the water?

Mike: Why?

Matt: He wanted to save soles!

Joke by Matthew B., Santa Fe, N.M.
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Bob: What did Oliver Twist say at the campfire?

Fred: I don’t know, Bob. What?

Bob: “Please, sir, I want s’mores!”

Joke by John D., Raleigh, N.C.
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Ted: Knock, knock.

Ned: Who’s there?

Ted: Woo.

Ned: Woo, who?

Ted: Don’t get so excited—it’s just a joke.

Joke by Alvin F., Union City, Calif.
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A woman went to the bank to arrange for a loan.

“I’m sorry, ma’am,” the teller told her, “but the loan arranger is out to lunch.”

“That’s O.K.,” said the woman. “Can I speak to Tonto?”

Joke by A.J. H., Londonderry, N.H.
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Derek: What do prisoners use to call each other?

Erik: What?

Derek: Cell phones.

Joke by Derek G., Monroe, Ohio
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Jared: Why did the turtle cross the road?

Nick: Why?

Jared: To get to the Shell station.

Joke by Jared S., Glen Carbon, Ill.
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A book never written: “How to Keep Bugs Away While Camping” by Moe Skeeto.

Joke by Ben F., Irmo, S.C.
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Joe: What did the earthquake say to the judge when it was in court for destroying a city?

Bo: What?

Joe: “It was all my fault!”

Joke by Brian R., St. Charles, Ill.
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Bob: Did you hear about the man who was caught stealing a calendar?

Joe: No.

Bob: He got 12 months.

Joke by Briana W., Arroyo Grande, Calif.
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A book never written: “Playing String Instruments” by Amanda Lynn.

Joke by Julia L., Bountiful, Utah
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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Wouldn’t expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?”

Joke by Sean W., Waldorf, Md.
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