Tom Swiftie Jokes: Laugh at this hilarious, classic pun-based humor

Tom Swiftie: “I like camping,” Tom said intently.

Joke by Sean W., Waldorf, Md.
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Tom Swiftie: “My lantern is broken and I’m out of candles!” Tom cried delightedly.

Joke by Matthew W., Delray, W.Va.
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Tom Swiftie: “We need hot dogs,” Tom said frankly.

Joke by Allen S., Cincinnati, Ohio
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Tom Swiftie: “You have the right to remain silent,” Tom said arrestingly.

Joke by Michael H., Senatobia, Miss.
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Tom Swiftie: “I love meat and potatoes,” Tom said heartily.

Joke by Benjamin M., Otis, Ore.
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Tom Swiftie: “I accidentally hit Pedro on the head with a rock,” Tom said bashfully.

Joke by Daniel M., West Brookfield, Mass.
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Tom Swiftie: “Don’t burn the bacon!” Tom said crisply.

Joke by Ryan K., Danbury, Conn.
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Tom Swiftie: “Take a right and then a left at the cemetery,” Tom said gravely.

Joke by Jared S., Fairfax, Va.
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Tom Swiftie: “I’ll go feed the horses now,” Tom said balefully.

Joke by Shaan P., Belle Mead, N.J.
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Tom Swiftie: “Let’s make our own Valentines,” Tom said craftily.

Joke by Kevin A., Winston-Salem, N.C.
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Tom Swiftie: "I can't find my pet snake!" Tom hissed.

Joke by Walter G., San Francisco, Calif.
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Tom Swiftie: “My walking stick broke,” Tom snapped.

“Good. Now you won’t complain about splinters,” Bob said sharply.

Joke by Evan C., Morristown, Tenn.
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Tom Swiftie: “I smell gas,” Tom fumed.

Joke by Domonic F., Everett, Mass.
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Tom Swiftie: “Time for a snack,” Tom snickered.

Joke by Daniel B., Champaign, Ill.
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Tom Swiftie: “You’re not working for my business anymore,” Tom fired.

Joke by Brian C., Snohomish,Wash.
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Tom Swiftie: “This must be an aerobics class,” Tom worked out.

Joke by Lexus D., Eugene, Ore.
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Tom Swiftie: “She tore my valentine in half!” said Tom half-heartedly.

Joke by Alexander J.Velazquez, Hamden, Conn.
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Tom Swiftie: “We have too many quizzes in school!” Tom said testily.

Joke by Brian C., Snohomish, Wash.
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Tom Swiftie: Tom piped up: “I need to fix that drain!”

Joke by Thompson H., Stow, Mass.
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Tom Swiftie: “Help me reel in this fish!” Tom wailed.

Joke by Sean K., Salem, N.H.
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Tom Swiftie: “Wanna go bowling tonight?” Tom asked strikingly.

Joke by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.
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Tom Swiftie: “I love the Hokey Pokey!” Tom put in.

Joke by Daniel M., Newtown Square, Pa.
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Tom Swiftie: “This is a good book,” Tom said readily.

Joke by David G., Arvada, Colo.
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Tom Swiftie: “On guard!” Tom said pointedly.

Joke by Scott G., San Jacinto, Calif.
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Tom Swiftie: “As soon as the rain stops, we’ll break camp,” Tom said intently.

Joke by Thomas A. P., Roseville, Calif.
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