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HomeJokesTom Swiftie Jokes

Tom Swiftie Jokes

Tom Swiftie (or Tom Swifty) jokes always include a quoted sentence linked by a pun to the way it’s attributed. These jokes became popular in the 1960s and are based on the “Tom Swift” book series from the early 20th century.

Tom Swiftie: “Look at that laser!” Tom beamed.

Joke by Jonas O., Seminole, Fla.
4 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I leave all my earthly possessions to the Scouts,” Tom said willingly.

Joke by Jace M,, Spring, Tex.
2 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I’m dehydrated,” Tom said dryly.

Joke by Coby L., Southlake, Tex.
1 comments

Tom Swiftie: “Hawaii is the best place to get married,” Tom proposed.

Joke by Nick L., Malvern, Pa.
0 comments

Tom Swiftie: “You’re going to freeze,” Tom said coldly.

Joke by Kevin W., Kuna, Idaho
1 comments

Tom Swiftie: “Pass the crustaceans, please,” Tom said crabbily.

Joke by Jack S., Belmont, Mass.
0 comments

Tom Swiftie: “Home, home on the range …” Tom sang plainly.

Joke by Caleb S., Ballwin, Mo
1 comments

Tom Swiftie: “Where’s my bacon?” Tom snorted.

Joke by John L., South Bend, Ind.
0 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I’d like some more blackberry pie!” Tom crowed.

Joke by Shelly N., Falls Church, Va.
3 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I don’t want a shot,” Tom said in vain.

Joke by Chasen T., Pearblossom, Calif.
1 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I can’t think of anything for my paper,” Tom said blankly.

Joke by Jonas O., Seminole, Fla.
0 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I’m a genius,” Tom said smartly.

 

Joke by Jake N., Fort Worth, Tex.
1 comments

Tom Swiftie: “May I borrow your drill?” Tom asked boringly.

Joke by William C., McAllen, Tex.
0 comments

Tom Swiftie: “There’s a storm coming!” Tom thundered.

Joke by Sean W., Waldorf, Md.
0 comments

Tom Swiftie: “Get that dog off my lawn,” Tom barked.

Joke by Justin F., Canton, Conn.
1 comments

Tom Swiftie: “Don’t rush me!” Tom said hastily.

Joke by Dave W., Dalhart, Tex.
0 comments

Tom Swiftie: “Oil prices sure are high,” Tom said crudely.

Joke by Drew B., Elkhart, Ind.
2 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I’m moving to the back of the boat,” Tom said sternly.

Joke by John G., Goldens Bridge, N.Y.
0 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I like catsup,” Tom mustered.

Joke by Travis H., Olathe, Kan
3 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I need a pencil sharpener,” Tom said bluntly.

Joke by Nollan C., Brush Prairie, Wash.
1 comments

Tom Swiftie: “Don’t push that button,” Tom exploded.

Joke by Reagan B., Konawa, Okla.
3 comments

Tom Swiftie: “Colorado joined the Union in 1876,” Tom stated.

Joke by James O., Bakersfield, Calif.
3 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I might as well be dead,” Tom croaked.

Joke by Robert M., Jasper, Ga.
1 comments

Tom Swiftie: “Can I go looking for the Grail again?” Tom requested.

Joke by Robert M., Jasper, Ga.
2 comments

Tom Swiftie: “I wish I could get a part in the play,” Tom said dramatically.

Joke by Chandler J., Chesterfield, Va.
1 comments

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