Jokes by Scout Life
  • Browse 6,000+ Jokes
  • 100 Best Jokes
  • Jokes By Topics
  • Joke Types
    • All Jokes
    • Comics
    • Long Jokes
    • Knock, Knock Jokes
    • Tom Swiftie Jokes
    • A Book Never Written
    • Daffynition Jokes
    • Warped Wiseman Jokes
  • Submit Jokes
  • Subscribe
  • Scoutlife.org
HomeJokesWarped Wiseman Jokes

Warped Wiseman Jokes

Warped Wiseman jokes make you think about the world in a funny, twisted way. These jokes written by Scout Life readers might make you ask, “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Warped Wiseman says: “A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.”

Joke by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.
3 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If Harry Potter is so magical, why can’t he fix his own eyesight?”

Joke by Andrew F., Milford, N.H.
8 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Can you teach a new dog old tricks?”

Joke by Sean H., Concord, N.C.
2 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “How do ‘Stay off the grass’ signs get there in the first place?”

Joke by Jim S., Arlington, Tex.
7 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is it called the World Series if only North American teams can play?”

Joke by Ajay G., Allentown, Pa.
3 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?”

Joke by Brandon S., Omaha, Neb.
8 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?”

Joke by Trevor S., Gilbertsville, Pa.
11 comments

Warped Wiseman says: “He who does a Good Turn daily must get dizzy after a while.”

Joke by Chris K., Grove City, Pa.
7 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Can you get American cheese in other countries?”

Joke by Daniel L., Bloomfield, N.J.
5 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If the cost of feathers is rising, does that mean down is up?”

Joke by Kenneth D., Las Vegas, Nev.
2 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is it called the Secret Service if everyone knows about it?”

Joke by Ryan A., Fairborn, Ohio
4 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If you melt dry ice into a pool, can you swim without getting wet?”

Joke by Weston L., Hartsville, S.C.
10 comments

Warped Wiseman says: “An onion a day keeps your friends away.”

Joke by Joshua G., Littlerock, Calif.
21 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Did God give us shins just so we could find things in the dark?”

Joke by Nicholas L., Holtwood, Pa.
3 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If cows laughed, would milk come out of their noses?”

Joke by Madeline K., Laguna Beach, Calif.
1 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “How can you have a well-rounded diet with three square meals?”

Joke by Ruben G., Pasadena, Calif.
0 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?”

Joke by Joshua B., Atlanta, Ga.
2 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing soap made with real lemons?”

Joke by Joseph B., Lakewood, Colo.
2 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why does the sun lighten our hair but darken our skin?”

Joke by Gautam R., Danville, Calif.
2 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is it called a television ‘set’ when you only get one?”

Joke by Ryan L., Irving, Tex.
1 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is a boxing ring square?”

Joke by Ryan L., Irving, Tex.
4 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, why does it have a lock on the door?”

Joke by Marshall L., Cleves, Ohio
6 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If people go to the gym to exercise, why do they fight for a parking spot close to the front door?”

Joke by Aaron M., Birmingham, Ala.
2 comments

Warped Wiseman wonders: “If Burger King and Dairy Queen married, would their child make ice-cream sandwiches?”

Joke by Mikey T., Portland, Ore.
4 comments

Warped Wiseman Wonders: "To expect the unexpected, won’t the unexpected become expected?”

Joke by Joe C., Miami, Fla.
9 comments

Posts pagination

« 1 … 3 4 5 6 »
ADVERTISEMENT

Send Us Your Jokes

patch for submittting a joke to Scout Life
Heard any good jokes lately? Scout Life will send you this Official Contributor patch for each joke of yours we publish in the printed magazine.

Today’s Top-Rated Jokes

  • Why is Madison Square Garden a...
  • If you drop the soap
  • If my nose runs
  • The objective of golf
  • Waiting for the waiter

All-Time Top-Rated Jokes

  • Cool disguise, Tom
  • No canned food
  • Dark side has more shade
  • Who’s a good boy?
  • Dracula’s dentist

Make a Pocket Joke Book

Download and fold your own pocket-sized joke book.

Scout Life Comics

ADVERTISEMENT
Now on Scoutlife.org
  • Scoutlife.org
  • Games
  • Jokes
  • Outdoors & Gear
  • Hobbies & Projects
  • Scouts
  • Contests & Giveaways
  • Subscribe
Scout Life magazine
Scout Life magazine cover
Subscribe Today!
Follow Scout Life
  • Follow on Facebook
  • Follow on Twitter
  • Follow on Instagram
  • Follow on YouTube
  • Follow on Pinterest
Contact Scout Life
ONLINE: scoutlife.org/contact-us
PHONE: (866) 584-6589
MAIL: 1325 W. Walnut Hill Lane, P.O. Box 152401, Irving, TX 75015-2401
Join Scouting
Scouting America logo
Visit beascout.org to find out how you can get involved in Scouting.
  • Subscribe
  • Subscriber Services
  • Archives
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Join Scouting
  • Privacy Policy

© 2026, Boy Scouts of America. All rights reserved.