Warped Wiseman Jokes: Laugh at hilarious twists on everyday life

Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why are finished buildings not called ‘builts’?”

Joke by Kyle S., Marysville, Wash.
4 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “How much more ocean would there be if there were no sea sponges?”

Joke by Cliff K., Longwood, Fla.
5 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “How fast does a zebra have to run to look gray?”

Joke by Zachary T., Phillipsburg, N.J.
1 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why do we eat spring rolls year-round?”

Joke by Kayden P., Odessa, Tex.
1 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why do we use a classified ad if we want everyone to know what we’re selling?”

Joke by Robert H., Harris, Minn.
1 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?”

Joke by Shyam A., Arcadia, Calif.
2 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is ‘abbreviation’ such a long word?”

Joke by Shyam A., Arcadia, Calif.
13 comments

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Warped Wiseman says: “Take all your tests in a restaurant. There, the customer is always right.”

Joke by Thomas G., Downers Grove, Ill.
5 comments

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Warped Wiseman says: “He who runs in front of a car gets tired. He who runs behind gets exhausted.”

Joke by Brendan G., Payson, Utah
22 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why are apartments always built together?”

Joke by Joseph B., Lakewood, Colo.
10 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?”

Joke by Josh K., Lexington, Mass.
17 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “What was the best thing before sliced bread?”

Joke by Kaleb R., Morganton, N.C.
2 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”

Joke by T.C. C., Oakdale, Tenn.
22 comments

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Warped Wiseman says: “Once I got angry with an Italian chef, so I gave him a pizza my mind.”

Joke by Brien V., Lewis Center, Ohio
6 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “If money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?”

Joke by Ethan H., Boulder, Colo.
28 comments

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Warped Wiseman says: “When everything’s coming your way, you’re probably in the wrong lane.”

Joke by Alex D., Chevy Chase, Md.
16 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why do we trust the bank with our money, but they don’t trust us with their pen?”

Joke by Raffi D., Niagara Falls, N.Y.
4 comments

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Warped Wiseman says: “There are three kinds of people in this world—those who can count and those who can’t!”

Joke by Spencer F., Fox Point, Wis.
6 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Hmmm, why is it that we drive on parkways and park on driveways?”

Joke by Dustin S., Chesapeake, Va.
1 comments

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Warped Wiseman says: “He who runs in front of car gets tired; he who runs behind car gets exhausted.”

Joke by Curtis H., Socorro, N.M.
15 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Hmmm, what’s another word for thesaurus?”

Joke by Dustin S., Chesapeake, Va.
3 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Hmmm, why do airline seats have emergency flotation devices under them…but not parachutes?”

Joke by Dustin S., Chesapeake, Va.
0 comments

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Warped Wiseman says: “I went shopping the other day for camouflage pants but couldn’t find any.”

Joke by Travis R. G., Rockwell, Tex.
0 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why isn’t ‘phonetic’ spelled the way it sounds?”

Joke by Dustin S., Chesapeake, Va.
0 comments

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Warped Wiseman wonders: “If the No. 2 pencil is so popular, then why is it still No. 2?”

Joke by Emily N. D., Middlesex, N.C.
9 comments

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