Jake: What did the hot dog say when it won the race? Josh: What? Jake: I’m a wiener! Joke by Peter H., Danbury, Conn.0 commentsLoading...
A golden retriever and boxer are in the front yard barking at cars. Golden retriever: Ruff, ruff! Boxer: Bark, bark! Golden retriever: MOO, MOO! Boxer: Hey! What are you doing? Dogs don’t go “moo”! Golden retriever: I’m studying a foreign language. Joke by Jared B. L., Lewiston, Me.1 commentsLoading...
Bob: How did your dog train its fleas? Mike: He started from scratch! Matt Pirella, Bridgewater, N.J. 1 commentsLoading...
A boy entered a bank with a large dog on a leash. He asked a security guard: “Is it all right if I bring Bruno in here?” “Sure,” said the guard, “as long as he doesn’t make a deposit.” Joke by Aaron R., Anaheim, Calif.4 commentsLoading...
Trent: What does a lazy dog chase? Brent: What? Trent: Parked cars. Joke by Trenton L., Shelton, Wash.0 commentsLoading...
Spot: What happens to dogs that run behind cars? Fido: What? Spot: They end up exhausted. Joke by Abhishek P., Gurnee, Ill.0 commentsLoading...
Peter: What kind of dog did Columbus have? Scott: What? Peter: A Newfoundland! Joke by Peter W., Simi Valley, Calif.1 commentsLoading...
First dog: Where do fleas go for summer vacation? Second dog: Search me! Joke by William J., Havelock, N.C.0 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Melancholy— A dog that eats cantaloupes. Joke by Rob P., Glenside, PA.4 commentsLoading...
Counselor: This is a dogwood tree. Ben: How do you know? Counselor: By its bark. Joke by Michael K., Lanham, Md.5 commentsLoading...
Fred: Why did the dachshund go under the shady tree? Ned: Why? Fred: Because he was a hot dog! Joke by Matthew C., Branson, MO7 commentsLoading...
John visited his 90-year-old grandpa who lived way out in the country. On the first morning of the visit, John's grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs. John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked, "Are these plates clean?" His grandpa replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal." For lunch, Grandpa made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have specks of dried egg on it. "Are you sure these plates are clean?" he asked. Without looking up, Grandpa said, "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them!" Later, as John was leaving, his grandpa's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass. John said, "Grandpa, your dog won't let me get by!" Grandpa yelled to the dog, "Cold Water, go lie down!" Joke by Jonathan P., Chicago, Ill.198 commentsLoading...
Zac: Why is your dog scratching? Alan: We just got back from shopping. Zac: What does that have to do with an itchy dog? Alan: We went to the flea market. Joke by Collin S., Traverse City, Mich.8 commentsLoading...
Trent: What did the dog say to the bone? Jacob: What? Trent: "Nice gnawing you!" Joke by Trenton S., Salt Lake City, Utah0 commentsLoading...
Sam: What animal wears a coat all winter and pants in the summer? Jackie: I don't know. What? Sam: A dog. Joke by Samuel E., Coweta, Okla.0 commentsLoading...
Al: Isn't this beastly weather we're having? Hal: What do you mean? Al: It's raining cats and dogs! Joke by Amanda M., Springfield, Mo.1 commentsLoading...
Glen: What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster? Ken: What? Glen: Cock-a-poodle-doo! Joke by Glen W., Palm Bay, Fla.6 commentsLoading...