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HomeGrape jokes

Grape jokes

John: What did the peanut say to the grape during Christmastime?
Mark: Tell me.
John: “’Tis the season to be jelly!”

Joke by John D., Johnstown, Pennsylvania 
0 comments

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BEN: What did the peanut butter say to the grape on Christmas?
JACK: I don’t know.
BEN: “ ’Tis the season to be jelly.”

Joke by Ben G., Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
1 comments

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Matt: What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Marie: What?
Matt: “Breathe!”

Joke by Matthew K., Depew, New York
23 comments

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Barry: How did the grape feel when the elephant stepped on it?
Terry: Tell me.
Barry: Crushed!

Joke by Tom D., Grand Rapids, Minn.
1 comments

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Jacob: Which purple king conquered the ancient world?
Ben: Beats me.
Jacob: Alexander the Grape!

Joke by Jacob E., Los Angeles, Calif.
1 comments

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Alek: Why are elephants big and gray?
John: Tell me.
Alek: If they were small and purple, they would just be grapes.

Joke by Alek M., Dublin, Ohio
8 comments

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A young boy goes to see the doctor. He’s got a pea in one nostril, a grape in the other and a string bean stuck in his ear.

He says to the doctor, “I don’t feel good.”

The doctor replies, “The problem is clear to me. You’re not eating right!”

Joke by Abdel R., Coralville, Iowa
0 comments

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Peter: What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
Elaine: What?
Peter: It let out a little wine!

Joke by Ifeanyi Stanley U., Orile-Iganmu Lagos, Nigeria
2 comments

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Teacher: If you had 13 apples, 12 grapes, 3 pineapples and 3 strawberries, what would you have?
Billy: A delicious fruit salad.

Joke by Harry B., Longmeadow, Mass.
4 comments

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Bob: What is purple and comes from Macedonia?
Bill: I really don’t know.
Bob: Alexander the Grape! 

Joke by Michael P., Greeneville, Tenn.
0 comments

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Max: What’s purple, long and 5,000 years old?
Tai: What?
Max: The Grape Wall of China.

Joke by Rylani M., Honolulu, Hawaii
8 comments

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