6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

Nick: What a nightmare -- I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow.
Rick: What’s so bad about that?
Nick: When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Joke by Nick S., Overland Park, Kan.
11 comments

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Tom Swiftie: “We have too many quizzes in school!” Tom said testily.

Joke by Brian C., Snohomish, Wash.
1 comments

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First lunchroom worker: Why are you taking so long to refill the salt shakers?

Second lunchroom worker: It’s not easy getting the salt through these little holes!

Joke by Thomas L., San Antonio,Tex.
3 comments

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David: What’s the difference between a bowling ball and asparagus?

Bob: What?

David: If you had to, you could eat a bowling ball.

Joke by David B., Clarkesville, Ga.
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A book never written: “How to Be a Better Baseball Player” by Ben Schwarmer.

Joke by Steven C., Apple Valley, Minn.
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Ben: What’s a fish’s favorite musical instrument?

Morgan: What?

Ben: A bass drum.

Joke by Ben T., Olney, Ill.
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Chris: Who does a considerate cow think of?

Sis: Who?

Chris: Udders.

Joke by Christopher C., Clifton Park, N.Y.
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Dan: What are the most loyal insects?

Ann: What?

Dan: Ticks. When they find a friend, they stick to him!

Joke by Daniel P., Lilburn, Ga.
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Mike: How can you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

Ike: How?

Mike: Footprints in the Jell-O.

Joke by Mike W., Holyoke, Colo.
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Tom Swiftie: Tom piped up: “I need to fix that drain!”

Joke by Thompson H., Stow, Mass.
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Garrett: Knock, knock.

Phillip: Who’s there?

Garrett: Radio.

Phillip: Radio, who?

Garrett: Radio not, here I come!

Joke by Garrett C., Bedford, Ky.
2 comments

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A book never written: “How to Be a Detective” by Mr. E.

Joke by Clarke M., Aiken, S.C.
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Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?

Voice: This is my father.

Joke by Mike I., Midland, Mich.
6 comments

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Bess: What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Tess: What?

Bess: Finding half a worm!

Joke by Kristi G., The Dalles, Ore.
2 comments

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Pedro: How do Eskimos dress?

Ordep: How?

Pedro: As quickly as possible!

Joke by Rafael N., Madera, Calif.
2 comments

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A book never written: “The Art of Procrastination” by Earl E. Bird.

Joke by Tanner H., Goshen, Ky.
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Math teacher: A man from Los Angeles drove toward New York at 250 miles per hour and a man from New York drove toward Los Angeles at 150 m.p.h. Where did they meet?

Johnny: In jail!

Joke by Glenn J., Santa Ana, Calif.
52 comments

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A book never written: “Always Tell the Truth” by Ima Lion.

Joke by Jake B., Bellingham, Wash.
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Austin: What kind of shoes does a bear wear in the woods?
Boston: What?
Austin: None—it goes bearfooted!

Joke by Austin B., Calabasas, Calif.
1 comments

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Brandon: Why did it take three husky Boy Scouts to help the old lady cross the street?

Landon: Why?

Brandon: She didn’t want to go!

Joke by Brandon G., Grosse Pointe Park, Mich.
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Teacher: Johnny, please use the word “teammate” in a sentence.

Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “My teammate all the pizza.”

Joke by Skylar S., Clarksville,Tenn.
3 comments

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John: What’s the best way to keep a skunk from smelling?
Ron: What?
John: Hold its nose!

Joke by John A., Bellevue, Neb.
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A book never written: “Don’t Buy Mementos of Your Vacation” by Sue Veneer.

Joke by Marshall F., Katy,Tex.
2 comments

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Matt: What do you call a seagull that likes to surf the Internet?

Erin: What?

Matt: An e-gull!

Joke by Matthew W., Lyme, N.H.
1 comments

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Cody: What do spiders eat with fried chicken?

Jim: What?

Cody: Corn on the cobweb.

Joke by Cody B., Smyrna,Tenn.
3 comments

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