6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

Mike: What do you call 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup?

Tike: What?

Mike: Wonton.

Joke by Ian B., Webster, Tex.
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A book never written: “How to Be an Extrovert” by Tim Idd.

Joke by Sydney V., Price, Utah
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Evan: What does a snowman say when he is introduced to another snowman?

Ivan: What?

Evan: Ice to meet you!

Joke by Evan A. R., Cedar Park, Tex.
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Warped Wiseman says: “There are three kinds of people in this world—those who can count and those who can’t!”

Joke by Spencer F., Fox Point, Wis.
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A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.

Joke by Coleton M., Cary, N.C.
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Bruce: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?

Kevin: I don’t know. What?

Bruce: The Fang-Dango.

Joke by Zac D., Danville, Calif.
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Nurse: Why are veins so sensitive about blood?

Darrin: They take it to heart.

Joke by Sam S., Birmingham, Ala.
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A book never written: “How to Fix Computers” by Mel Function.

Joke by Scott M. A., Oklahoma City, Okla.
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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Hmmm, why is it that we drive on parkways and park on driveways?”

Joke by Dustin S., Chesapeake, Va.
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A book never written: “Not Fond of Frogs” by Ann Fibian.

Joke by Stephen M., Ridgefield, Wash.
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Warped Wiseman says: “He who runs in front of car gets tired; he who runs behind car gets exhausted.”

Joke by Curtis H., Socorro, N.M.
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Joel: What do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft?

Joe: What?

Joel: A B-flat minor!

Joke by Joel K., Kennesaw, Ga.
9 comments

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Tom Swiftie: “Wanna go bowling tonight?” Tom asked strikingly.

Joke by Steven G., Virginia Beach, Va.
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Shane: Why was the skeleton scared to get in a fight?

Wayne: He was too weak?

Shane: No—he didn’t have the guts!

Joke by Jasaunna M., Cambria Heights, N.Y.
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Dale: What do you do if you want to learn more about Dracula?

Gayle: You join his fang club.

Joke by Dale K., Somerset, Pa.
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Terry: An elephant tramples a garden. What’s the only kind of vegetable left?

Jerry: I don’t know.

Terry: Squash!

Joke by Daniel J., Round Rock, Tex.
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Tom Swiftie: “I love the Hokey Pokey!” Tom put in.

Joke by Daniel M., Newtown Square, Pa.
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Zeke: What does a zombie fresh out of the grave like to play?

Zoe: I don’t know.

Zeke: Casketball!

Joke by Ulrik N., Brooklyn, N.Y.
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In the worst rainstorm of the century, a kid calls a hotline to report flooding.

“Help me!” the kid exclaims. “I’m standing in two feet of water!”

“Now stay calm,” the person answering the hotline replies. “Two feet of water does not constitute a flood emergency around here.”

“It does around here!” says the kid. “I’m calling from the fourth floor!”

Joke by Nathaniel J. R., Statesville, N.C.
68 comments

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A boy entered 10 puns in a contest, hoping at least one would win. Unfortunately, no pun in 10 did.

Joke by Vince T., Eden Prairie, Minn.
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Tom Swiftie: “This is a good book,” Tom said readily.

Joke by David G., Arvada, Colo.
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Tim: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?
Tom: What?
Tim: Booberry pie.

Joke by Joshua N., Napoleon, Ohio
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Ben: What did one magnet say to the other magnet?

Finn: I have no idea. What?

Ben: “I find you very attractive!”

Joke by Ben M., Doylestown, Pa.
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Joe: What did the absent-minded skunk say when the wind changed directions?

Kyle: I don’t know. What?

Joe: “It all comes back to me now!”

Joke by Joe B., Spokane Valley, Wash.
3 comments

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Patient: I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Doc. My nose runs and my feet smell.
Doctor: You’re upside down!

Joke by Ryan D., Hillsborough, N.J.
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