6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

Jake: How do you turn melted chocolate into a vegetable?

Woody: How?

Jake: You drop it—and it’s SQUASH!

Joke by Scott W., South Jordan, Utah
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Seller: This new vacuum cleaner will cut your work in half.

Buyer: Great! I’ll take two!

Joke by Vince T., Eden Prairie, Minn.
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A Book Never Written: “How to Become Famous” by Anonymous.

Joke by Arras W., Severna Park, Md.
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Jim: Did you hear about the court jester who lost his job?

Joe: No.

Jim: Said he was nobody’s fool.

Joke by James R., Strongsville, Ohio
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Camp Staffer: How’s that steak, Scout? Tender enough?

Scout: Dunno. I’m still trying to saw through the gravy.

Joke by Daniel G., Silver Spring. Md.
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Fred: What do you call waterfowl that steals?

Ted: I don’t know. What?

Fred: Robber duckies!

Joke by Thomas S., Orem, Utah
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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Hmmm, why do airline seats have emergency flotation devices under them…but not parachutes?”

Joke by Dustin S., Chesapeake, Va.
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Pee Wee: I’m studying to be a barber.

Westy: Really! Will that take long?

Pee Wee: Nah, I’m learning all the shortcuts.

Joke by Justin O., Pickerington, Ohio
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A Book Never Written: “Be Prepared” by Justin Case.

Joke by Richard L. C. III, Shokan, N.Y.
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Pedro: Knock, knock.

Ordep: Who’s there?

Pedro: Latin!

Ordep: Latin, who?

Pedro: Latin me in would be a good idea!

Joke by Tyler E., Juneau, Alaska
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Bill: Does England have a 4th of July?

Jill: Nope.

Bill: Oh, sure it does! It comes after July 3rd!

Joke by Will E. M., Big Canoe, Ga.
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A book never written: “How to Lose Weight” by Philip Onsweets.

Joke by Sergio S. F., Naples, Fla.
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A cowboy rode into a western town, only to find the streets nearly deserted. He went into the general store.

“The streets are empty,” he said to the shopkeeper.

“Yup. They all be at the hangin’.”

“Who they hangin’?”

“Paper Bag Pete.”

“Paper Bag Pete? Why they call him that?”

“I reckon because he wears a paper bag hat, a paper bag shirt, a paper bag vest, paper bag pants, paper bag socks, paper bag boots, even paper bag spurs.”

“O.K., so what’re they hangin’ him for?”

“What else? Rustlin’.”

Joke by Lynn H., Eureka, Calif.
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Warped Wiseman says: “I went shopping the other day for camouflage pants but couldn’t find any.”

Joke by Travis R. G., Rockwell, Tex.
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A book never written: “Where Have All the Animals Gone?” by Darren DeBarn.

Joke by JOSEPH T., Castle Hayne, N.C.
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Teacher: Please use “going” in a sentence.

Student: Yes, ma’am. “I ain’t going to be late for the party.”

Teacher: Close, but you must not say, “I ain’t going.” You should instead say, “I am not going; he is not going; we are not going; they are not going.”

Student: Golly, if ain’t nobody going then what’s the point of the party?

Joke by Howard W., Spring Hill, Fla.
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Jay: What did the dentist say to the judge in court?

Clay: What?

Jay: “You can’t handle the tooth!”

Joke by James L., Pittsford, N.Y.
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Jim: What did Tennessee?

Kim: The same thing Arkansas!

Joke by James R., Strongsville, Ohio
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Brandon: My uncle can shoot a gun faster than any other man in the West! He can even shoot without taking the gun from its holster!

Brian: Wow! What do they call your uncle?

Brandon: Three Toes Bill.

, Pinnacle, N.C.
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Warped Wiseman wonders: “Why isn’t ‘phonetic’ spelled the way it sounds?”

Joke by Dustin S., Chesapeake, Va.
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Daffynition: Arcade—What everyone on Noah’s ark drank.

Joke by Alex H., Cheshire, Conn.
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A man bought a parrot at an auction after bidding higher and higher against another bidder.

“I suppose the bird talks,” he said to the auctioneer.

“Talks!” replied the auctioneer. “He’s been bidding against you for the last 10 minutes!”

Joke by Nusayba H., Annandale, Va.
52 comments

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Philip: Why did the penny, not the quarter, jump off the cliff?

James: I give up.

Philip: Because the quarter had more sense!

Joke by Blake A., Powder Springs, Ga.
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A book never written: “Read” by Paige Turner.

Joke by Luqman I. B., Willow Spring, N.C.
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Joe: Knock, knock.

Bo: Who’s there?

Joe: Owl.

Bo: Owl, who?

Joe: Owl get the door.

Joke by Joseph F., Greensboro, N.C.
2 comments

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