6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

Matt: What did the hungry dalmatian say when it finished its dinner?

Bob: What?

Matt: “Boy, that hit the spots!”

Joke by Matt H., Bethlehem, Pa.
2 comments

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Tom Swiftie: “I forgot what I needed from the store,” Tom said listlessly.

Joke by Nate J., Cincinnati, Ohio
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Dan: My mom made a bad mistake today and gave my dad some soap flakes instead of corn flakes for breakfast.

Jan: Was he mad?

Dan: Yup. He was foaming at the mouth!

Joke by Daniel R., Dickinson, Tex.
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Teacher: Johnny, please use the word “gladiator” in a sentence.

Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “That mean hen used to peck the boy, so he’s gladiator.”

Joke by Matt T., Towaco, N.J.
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Tim: What is Smokey the Bear’s middle name?
Andrew: I have no idea. What?
Tim: “The.”

Joke by Andrew R., Holbrook, N.Y.
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Curtis:Why were the early days of history called the Dark Ages?

Craig: Light bulbs weren’t invented yet?

Curtis: No. Because there were so many knights!

Joke by Curtis G., Hoffman Estates, Ill.
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Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I keep getting pains in my eye when I drink coffee.

Doctor: Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup?

Joke by Christopher S., Senoia, Ga.
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English teacher: Johnny, do you like Kipling?

Johnny: I don’t know. I’ve never kipled!

, San Francisco, Calif.
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Lee Ann: Why did the school nurse bring a red crayon to work?

LuAnn: Why?

Lee Ann: In case she had to draw blood.

Joke by Lee Ann D., Covington, Wash.
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Bill: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

Will: What?

Bill: “You’re too young to smoke!”

Joke by Chris B., Baltimore, Md.
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A book never written: “101 Easy Ways to Have Fun at School” by Anita Dayoff.

Joke by Gary W., Arcadia, Calif.
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Two guys meet on a dusty country road.

One is carrying a big bag labeled “chickens.”

“Chickens, eh?” says the other guy.

“Listen, if I guess how many chickens you’ve got, will you give me one?”

“Sure,” says the guy with the bag. “In fact, if you guess right, I’ll give you both of ’em.”

Joke by Aarin G., Duarte, Calif.
20 comments

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Daffynition: Tent—An overused troop item filled with dirt clods, candy wrappers and stuck zippers.

Joke by Toby F., Springfield, Neb.
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Adam: What races take place on an African island?

Mark: What?

Adam: MadaNASCAR.

Joke by Adam G., Sioux Falls, S.D.
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Will: Why was Little Miss Muffet reading a map?

Jack: I don’t know. Why?

Will: Because she lost her whey!

Joke by Will S., Chippewa Falls, Wis.
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A book never written: “All About Robots” by Cy Borg.

Joke by Sam C., San Antonio, Tex.
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Doug: Why was the garbage collector feeling gloomy?

Heather: Why?

Doug: Because he was down in the dumps.

Joke by Douglas O. F., Waseca, Minn.
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Rusty: Where’s the best place to hide in school?

Crusty: Dunno. Where?

Rusty: Behind your math book—because there’s safety in numbers.

Joke by Nathan B., North St. Paul, Minn
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Vince: Why was the inchworm angry?

Paul: Don’t know. Why?

Vince: It was told to convert to the metric system!

Joke by Dan H., Conshohocken, Pa.
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A book never written: “How to Look Happy” by Don A. Smile.

Joke by Michael H. H., Cary, N.C.
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Warped Wiseman wonders: “If the No. 2 pencil is so popular, then why is it still No. 2?”

Joke by Emily N. D., Middlesex, N.C.
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Allen: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

Rick: What?

Allen: A pouch potato.

, Madison, Ala.
12 comments

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A book never written: “A Guide to Straight Shooting” by Miss DaLot.

Joke by Michael J. G., Madelia, Minn.
2 comments

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Luke: Knock, knock.

Jake: Who’s there?

Luke: Luke.

Jake: Luke, who?

Luke: Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.

Joke by Luke T., Northglenn, Colo.
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Sally: Did you notice how my voice filled the theater last night?

Bob: Yeah, and I noticed people leaving to make room for it!

Joke by Jamie J., Dawsonville, Ga.
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