6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

A boy entered a bank with a large dog on a leash. He asked a security guard: “Is it all right if I bring Bruno in here?” “Sure,” said the guard, “as long as he doesn’t make a deposit.”

Joke by Aaron R., Anaheim, Calif.
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Josh: What’s smaller than an ant’s mouth?

Jim: What?

Josh: An ant’s dinner.

Joke by Josh B., Dublin, Ohio
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Chris: What do snakes do after fights?

Cross: I have no idea.

Chris: They hiss and make up.

Joke by Christian L., Highland, Utah
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Jane: Knock, knock.

Jill: Who’s there?

Jane: Annette.

Jill: Annette, who?

Jane: Annette catches more fish than a hook.

Joke by Brien V., Lewis Center, Ohio
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Pablo:What can fill a room but takes up no space?

Peter: What?

Pablo: Light!

Joke by Pablo N., Coon Rapids, Minn.
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Max: What’s purple, long and 5,000 years old?
Tai: What?
Max: The Grape Wall of China.

Joke by Rylani M., Honolulu, Hawaii
8 comments

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Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?

Ted: What?

Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Joke by Ted S., Lisle, Ill.
16 comments

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Customer: I’m in a hurry, but I want a pancake. Will it be long?

Waiter: No, sir, it will be round.

Joke by Hunter L., Herndon, Va.
4 comments

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Pee Wee: How do you cut an ocean?

Westy: How?

Pee Wee: With a seesaw!

Joke by Jadrien A. W., Swanton, Ohio
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“If you step on a purple mushroom, you’ll be forced to marry the ugliest person in the world,” warned the old gnome, so the man continued carefully through the woods. He didn’t step on any purple mushrooms.

Suddenly a beautiful woman walked up and said: “We have to marry.”

“Why?” asked the man, smiling.

“I just stepped on one of those pesky purple mushrooms!” she replied.

Joke by Matthew D., Andover, Mass.
183 comments

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Stevie: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today!

Mom: That’s great. What in?

Stevie: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.

Joke by Zachary D. G., Rutherford, N.J.
6 comments

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A book never written: “How to Stand Out in a Crowd” by Ann Nonamous.

Joke by Robert R., Forestdale, Mass.
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Justin: Why does the Statue of Liberty stand in New York Harbor?

Gerald: Why?

Justin:Because she can’t sit down.

Joke by Justin A., Oquawka, Ill.
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Dad: What happened to that fireproof, shockproof, waterproof, unbreakable watch I gave you for Christmas?

Son: I lost it.

Joke by Andrew H., Rockaway, N.J.
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Nate: Hey, Jesse, you’ve got some snew on your shirt.

Jesse: What’s snew?

Nate: Not much, what’s snewwith you?

Joke by Jesse C., Wellesley, Mass.
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Manny: How do you like the drum set you got for your birthday?

Theo: I love it!

Manny: Why?

Theo: Whenever I don’t play it, my dad gives me 10 bucks!

Joke by Alvin F., Union City, Calif.
38 comments

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Justin: Why did the jelly roll?

Jason: I don’t know. Why?

Justin: It saw the apple turnover.

Joke by Justin A., Oquawka, Ill.
1 comments

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Tom: Which man has the most buildings named after him?

Ron: I don’t know. Who?

Tom: Jim Nasium.

Joke by Tommy M., Brewster, N.Y.
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Mother: How was your first day of kindergarten?

Son: O.K., but I haven’t got my gift yet.

Mother: What do you mean?

Son: Well, the teacher slid me a chair and said, “Sit here for the present.”

Joke by Kathleen M. N., Oklahoma City, Okla.
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Dad: Son, if you keep pulling my hair, you will have to get off my shoulders.

Tiger Cub: But, Dad, I’m just trying to get my gum back!

Joke by Ken R., Sparta, Mich.
2 comments

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Daniel: Knock, knock.

Preston: Who’s there?

Daniel: Monkey.

Preston: Monkey, who?

Daniel: Monkey won’t fit, that’s why I knocked.

Joke by John D., San Antonio, Tex.
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A book never written: “I Hate White” by Al Bino.

Joke by Sam W., Eden Prairie, Minn.
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Trent: What does a lazy dog chase?

Brent: What?

Trent: Parked cars.

Joke by Trenton L., Shelton, Wash.
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Tom Swiftie: “I ate all seven lamb chops!” Tom said sheepishly.

Joke by Landon H., Waco, Tex.
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Derek: What made the skating Boy Scout dizzy?

Eric: I don’t know. What?

Derek: Too many good turns.

Joke by Derek D., Oxford Junction, Iowa
1 comments

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