6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

A snail goes to buy a car. The salesman is surprised when the snail picks out a fast, expensive sports car. He’s even more surprised when the snail requires that a big red “S” be painted on both sides.

“Why would you want such a thing?” asked the salesman.

The snail replied, “I want people to say, ‘Look at that S car go!’”

Joke by Meghan and Jackson K., Van Buren, Ark.
11 comments

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Q: When I first appear I seem quite mysterious, but when I’m explained I’m nothing serious. What am I?

A: A riddle.

Joke by J.R. W., Moncks Corner, S.C.
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A book never written: “I Hate Japanese Food” by Terry Aki.

Joke by Phillip R., Bakersfield, Calif.
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Tom: What did the girl melon say when the boy melon proposed?

Ron: What?

Tom: “We’re too young. We cantaloupe.”

Joke by Aseef A., Wakefield, R.I.
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Tony: What’s the bird that steals the most?

Tom: What?

Tony: A robin.

Joke by Stuart C., Naperville, Ill.
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Richard: What did the hen say when it laid a square egg?

Roger: What?

Richard: “Ouch!”

Joke by Richard W., Mount Vernon, Ohio
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A book never written: “Brain Surgery” by Sarah Bellum.

Joke by Stephen R., Houston, Tex.
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Ben: Knock, knock.

Flynn: Who’s there?

Ben: Hutch.

Flynn: Hutch, who?

Ben: Looks like you’re coming down with something!

Joke by Benjamin H., Franktown, Colo.
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Patient: Doctor, doctor, I think I’m a thief!

Doctor: Well come on into my office, son, and take a seat.

Joke by Lucas R., Rogers, Ark.
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A book never written: “The Pleasures of Camping” by Moe Squito.

Joke by Joey P., Fitchburg, Wis.
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Son: Dad, I’ve been picked for the school football team!

Father: That’s great, son. Which position do you play?

Son: The coach says I’m one of the drawbacks.

Joke by Alex W., Helena, Ala.
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Connor: Where did cows fight for independence?

Tanner: Where?

Connor: The Alamoo!

Joke by Connor D., Hanford, Calif.
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Tom Swiftie: “Let’s put on a small play,” Tom said skittishly.

.

, Gaithersburg, Md
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Joe bought an old clock at a flea market. A couple of days later he went back to the merchant and complained that the clock was losing 15 minutes every hour.

“Didn’t you see the sign?” the merchant asked. “It said ‘25% off.’”

Joke by Chris T., Edinburg, Va.
6 comments

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Riddler: What belongs to you but is used more by others?
Batman: What?
Riddler: Your name.

Joke by Alex R., Fremont, Calif.
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Ann: Knock, knock.

Dan: Who’s there?

Ann: Abby.

Dan: Abby, who?

Ann: Abby birthday!

Joke by Greer V., Edina, Minn.
4 comments

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Eagle Scout: What’s the best way to carve wood?

Life Scout: What?

Eagle Scout: Whittle by whittle.

Joke by Kyle S., Corydon, Ind.
2 comments

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Sunday school teacher: Tell me, Johnny. Do you say prayers before eating?

Johnny: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.

Joke by Matthew W., San Antonio, Tex.
44 comments

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Grant: What’s green and sings?

Greg: What?

Grant: Elvis Parsley.

Joke by Grant P., Berwyn, Pa.
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Riddler: A man leaves home, makes a left turn, makes another left, then another left turn and goes home again. When he gets home there are two men wearing masks waiting for him. Who are they?
Batman: I haven’t a clue.
Riddler: The catcher and the umpire.

Joke by Jonathan L., Cary, N.C.
4 comments

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Jay: Knock, knock.

Kay: Who’s there?

Jay: Ladybug.

Kay: Ladybug, who?

Jay: Lady, bug someone else for a change, O.K.?

Joke by Henry W., Fremont, Calif.
9 comments

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Joe: My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.

Moe: Is he all right now?

Joe: I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.

Joke by Joshua G., Corvallis, Mont.
2 comments

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Message on a highway sign: It takes 3,500 bolts to put a car together, but only one nut to wreck it.

Joke by Josh B., Sioux City, Iowa
87 comments

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A book never written: “Becoming a Vegetarian” by Beau Vine.

Joke by Ryan I., Brighton, Mich.
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John: I’m starved. What’s to eat?
Don: You name it, I’ll make it.

John: Sandwich?
Don: Nope.

John: Soup?
Don: Nope.

John: You said if I named it, you’d make it!
Don: You haven’t named it yet.

Joke by John D., San Antonio, Tex.
1 comments

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