6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

Jake: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

Flake: What?

Jake: “It’s pasture bedtime.”

Joke by Jake P., Jackson, La.
21 comments

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A book never written: “Plumbing Is Not My Thing” by Sue Edge.

Joke by Brie and Greg S., Madison, Conn.
1 comments

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Genell: What do flowers call their best friends?

Vernell: What?

Genell: Buds.

.

Joke by Genell B., Grand Rapids, Mich
1 comments

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Joey: Knock, knock.

Zooey: Who’s there?

Joey: Carl.

Zooey: Carl, who?

Joey: Carl get you there faster than a bike!

Joke by Zakiya N., Freeport, N.Y.
0 comments

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Pat: What is it called when you have your appendix removed?

Matt: An appendectomy.

Pat: What is it called when you have your tonsils removed?

Matt: A tonsillectomy.

Pat: And what is it called when you have a growth on the top of your head removed?

Matt: I don’t know. What?

Pat: A haircut.

Joke by Pat J., Warrens, Wis.
1 comments

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Doug: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all.

Dan: How do you know?

Doug: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.

Joke by Doug D., Wellington, Fla.
8 comments

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Composer: It took me 10 years to write this lullaby.

Publisher: Really? Why so long?

Composer: It kept putting me to sleep!

Joke by Tommy O., Julesburg, Colo.
4 comments

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Alvin: My greatgrandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans.

Alex: Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?

Joke by Alex I., Exeter, R.I.
0 comments

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Man at hotel’s front desk: I have a reservation here. Can you tell me what room I’m in?

Hotel clerk: You’re in the lobby.

Joke by James D., San Diego, Calif.
7 comments

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Teacher: Johnny, please use the word “demeanor” in a sentence.

Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “The more I annoy my brother, demeanor he gets!”

Joke by Peter D., Peachtree City, Ga.
3 comments

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Little fish: Hey, Dad! Did you hear about the really mean tuna?

Papa fish: What about him?

Little fish: He was rotten to the albacore!

Joke by Steve G., Virginia Beach, Va.
0 comments

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Nic: What did the rabbit say to the annoying fly?

Rick: What?

Nic: “Stay out of my hare!”

Joke by Nicole H., Malvern, Iowa
1 comments

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Moe: I’ve been seeing spots before my eyes.

Joe: That’s terrible. Have you seen a doctor?

Moe: No, just spots.

Joke by Tim W., Tuolumne, Calif.
3 comments

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Pat: What did the prisoner use to call his lawyer?

Matt: What?

Pat: A cell phone, of course.

Joke by Dan L., Rockland, Mass.
1 comments

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Moe: Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?

Larry: No. What happened?

Moe: She couldn’t keep control of her pupils.

Joke by Mac S., Alpharetta, Ga.
9 comments

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Daffynition: Diet—what some people do to their hair.

Joke by William S., Lawton, Okla.
4 comments

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People say: “The early bird gets the worm.”

Hint to worms: Sleep in.

Joke by Nick G., New Castle, Ind.
2 comments

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Mark: What are the rules in zebra baseball?

Mike: What?

Mark: Three stripes and you’re out.

Joke by Mark L., Sicklerville, N.J.
8 comments

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Joseph: What do you get when you cross a giraffe and a pig?

Johnny: What?

Joseph: Bacon and legs.

Joke by Joseph R., Nutley, N.J.
1 comments

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Good question: What happens when you get scared half to death twice?

Joke by Kai S., St. Petersburg, Fla.
7 comments

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Teacher: Johnny, please use the word “benign” in a sentence.

Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “I’m going to "benign" in September.”

Joke by William G., Greenwich, Conn.
10 comments

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Joe: What does your father do for a living?

Jon: He’s a magician. He performs tricks, like sawing people in half.

Joe: Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Jon: Yep, four half-sisters and a half-brother.

Joke by Jonathan W., Stroudsburg, Pa.
24 comments

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Tom: What do you call a fly with no wings?

Mom: What?

Tom: A walk.

Joke by Tom R., Oregon, Wis.
38 comments

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General: Captain, why do our men have burnt hands?

Captain: Because, sir, you told them to hold their fire.

Joke by Andy L., Northfield, Mass.
61 comments

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Adrian: Why does a flamingo stand on one leg?

Andy: Why?

Adrian: If he lifted the other leg, he would fall over.

Joke by Adrian M., York Springs, Pa.
14 comments

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