6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

Teacher: Johnny, use the word “disguise” in a sentence.

Johnny: Yes, ma’am. “Disguise got to be kidding.”

Joke by Cody Carter, Douglas, Ga.
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Aaron: Which state do basketball players look best in?

Darrin: Which?

Aaron: New Jersey.

Joke by Aaron B., Pacific Grove, Calif.
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Justin: What occurs once in a minute, twice in a moment and never in a thousand years?

Joseph: What?

Justin: The letter “M.”

Joke by Justin T., West Islip, N.Y.
6 comments

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Zach: Knock, knock.

Andy: Who’s there?

Zach: Donut.

Andy: Donut, who?

Zach: Donut forget to wear a helmet!

Joke by Zachary L., Oakmont, Pa.
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Josh: What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?

Calvin: What?

Josh: A pouch potato.

Joke by Josh M., Las Vegas, Nev.
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John: What’s brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

Ron: What?

John: A coconut on vacation!

Joke by Jonathan W., Stroudsburg, Pa.
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Patient: Doctor, Doctor, I’ve lost my memory!

Doctor: When did this happen?

Patient: When did what happen?

Joke by Ethan M, Holt, Mich.
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Bradley: Which day do chickens hate the most?

Ned: Which?

Bradley: Fry-day.

Joke by Bradley H., Frisco, Tex.
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Robert: What did the angry clock say to the other clock?

Ryan: Got me—what?

Robert: “You’re really tickin’ me off.”

Joke by Nadine F., Huntington Beach, Calif.
2 comments

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Clete: What do you call someone who is allergic to water?

Pete: I give up. What?

Clete: Dirty.

Joke by Cletus D., Lake Forest Park, Wash.
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Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!

Doctor: Then pull yourself together.

Joke by Josh B., Dublin, Ohio.
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A book never written: “Bad Radio Communications” by Lowden Clear.

Joke by Larry B., Gas City, Ind.
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Rashi: When does a cart come before a horse?

Rajat: When?

Rashi: In the dictionary!

Joke by Rashi G., Chatsworth, Calif.
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Flip: I just bought a talking parrot for a thousand dollars.

Skip: What does it say?

Flip: “You paid too much! You paid too much!”

Joke by Andrew D., Rochester, N.Y.
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A book never written: “Never Volunteer” by Linda Hand.

Joke by Josh B., Dublin, Ohio.
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Caller: What time does the library open?

Librarian: Nine a.m., and what’s the idea of calling me in the middle of the night?

Caller: (disappointed) Not until 9?

Librarian: Right! Not until 9! Why do you want to get in so early?

Caller: In? I want to get out!

Joke by Bryan W., Ocean View, N.J.
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Ike:What do you call a complaining football player?

Mike: What?

Ike: A whinebacker!

Joke by James M., Wall, N.J.
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Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny!

Waiter: Then why aren’t you laughing?

Joke by James S., Monterey Park, Calif.
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Tom Swiftie: “I just learned how to play the organ!” Tom piped up.

Joke by David B., Richfield, Minn.
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A Book Never Written: “It’s Clear to Me” by E. Nigma.

Joke by Clarke H., Boxford, Mass.
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Tom: I’m so hungry I could eat a whale!

Joe: I find that really hard to swallow.

Joke by Steven G., Gas City, Ind.
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Josh: Knock, knock.

James: Who’s there?

Josh: Waddle.

James: Waddle, who?

Josh: Waddle you give me if I go away?

Joke by Josh B., Dublin, Ohio
3 comments

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Did you hear about the snail that was beaten up by two turtles?

Its friends were looking for revenge, so they wanted to know: “Did you get a good look at the turtles that did this?”

“No,” the snail answered. “It all happened so fast.”

Joke by Ross S., Perrysburg, Ohio.
19 comments

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A man dug a tunnel out of jail and came up on a preschool playground.

“I’m free! I’m free!” he yelled.

“Big deal,” said a little boy. “I’m 4.”

Joke by Evan S., Farmington Hills, Mich.
141 comments

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Son: I found a dead bird while I was mowing the lawn.

Dad: Where is it?

Son: It’s on the lawn.

Dad: Can you be more specific?

Son: No.

Joke by Michael M., Loveland, Colo.
5 comments

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