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HomeJokesTom Swiftie Jokes

Tom Swiftie Jokes

Tom Swiftie (or Tom Swifty) jokes always include a quoted sentence linked by a pun to the way it’s attributed. These jokes became popular in the 1960s and are based on the “Tom Swift” book series from the early 20th century.

Tom Swiftie: “A magician just cut me in half,” Tom said half-heartedly.

Joke by Ajinkya S., Marietta, Ga.
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Tom Swiftie: “Turn up the stereo,” Tom said amply.

Joke by Dillon R., Kenner, La.
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Tom Swiftie: “I didn’t see that steamroller coming,” Tom said flatly.

Joke by Joe W., Grand Prairie, Texas
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Tom Swiftie: “Ouch! I got poked by a thorn,” Tom said sharply.

Joke by Jack M., Omaha, Neb.
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Tom Swiftie: “I love fountains,” Tom bubbled.

Joke by Dean W.
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Tom Swiftie: “I can’t find my dog,” Tom howled.

Joke by Isaac T., East Grand Forks, Minn.
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Tom Swiftie: “I’m on fire,” Tom blazed.

Joke by David Y., Gilbertsville, N.Y.
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Tom Swiftie: “These pigs sure do like this stuff,” Tom said sloppily.

Joke by Charlie P., Thornton, Colo.
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Tom Swiftie: “Stop acting like a baby,” Tom cried.

Joke by Adam M., Parkville, Mo.
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Tom Swiftie: “It’s a werewolf!” Tom howled.

Joke by Quinn S., Germantown, Wis.
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Tom Swiftie: “Look at that bird,” Tom chirped.

Joke by Max S., Brooklyn, N.Y.
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Tom Swiftie: “Tell me when my package gets here,” Tom ordered.

Joke by Christopher G., Ninde, Va.
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Tom Swiftie: “What’s your point?” Tom said sharply.

Joke by Evan H., Oakton, Va.
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Tom Swiftie: “It’s freezing in here,” Tom said coldly.

Joke by Jake G.
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Tom Swiftie: “I think I’ll use a different font,” Tom said boldly.

Joke by Daniel S., Whitehouse Station, N.J.
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Tom Swiftie: “Change the channel,” Tom said remotely.

Joke by Max L., Knoxville, Tenn.
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Tom Swiftie: “Here’s a stick,” Tom snapped.

Joke by Micah P., Charlotte, N.C.
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Tom Swiftie: “I want to teach at a university,” Tom professed.

Joke by Bradley W., Norwich, N.Y.
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Tom Swiftie: "Man, that robotics class was hard!” Tom droned.

Joke by Alex M., River Edge, N.J.
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Tom Swiftie: “We struck oil,” Tom gushed.

Joke by Riaz L., Tyner, N.C.
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Tom Swiftie: “I hate cats!” Tom barked.


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Tom Swiftie: “It sure is cold up here!” Tom said frigidly.

Joke by Daniel S., Whitehouse Station, N.J.
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Tom Swiftie: “This paper has nothing on it,” Tom said blankly.

Joke by Leon G., Maitland, Fla.
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Tom Swiftie: “It didn’t rain today,” Tom said dryly.

Joke by Emily B., Decatur, Ga.
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Tom Swiftie: “I love hitting piñatas,” Tom said bashfully.

Joke by Kyle M., Rochester, N.Y.
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