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HomeJokesTom Swiftie Jokes

Tom Swiftie Jokes

Tom Swiftie (or Tom Swifty) jokes always include a quoted sentence linked by a pun to the way it’s attributed. These jokes became popular in the 1960s and are based on the “Tom Swift” book series from the early 20th century.

Tom Swiftie: “There’s no point,” Tom said bluntly.

Joke by Jessica S., Midlothian, Va.
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Tom Swiftie: “I’m making pancakes,” Tom said flatly.

Joke by Miles C., Hudson, Wis.
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Tom Swiftie: “Who chopped down this tree?” asked Tom, stumped.

Joke by Nicholas R., Spokane Valley, Wash.
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Tom Swiftie: “Let me shred the cheese,” Tom said gratefully.

Joke by Samuel G., Saratoga, Calif.
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Tom Swiftie: “I stepped in poison ivy,” Tom said rashly.

Joke by Austin S., Chester, N.J.
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Tom Swiftie: “I hate subtraction,” Tom said negatively.

 

 

Joke by Ian S., Raleigh, N.C.
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Tom Swiftie: “Boy, this hot dog is delicious!” Tom said frankly.

Joke by Adam M., Parkville, Mo.
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Tom Swiftie: “I feel so average,” Tom said meanly.

Joke by Jonathan T., Bristow, Va.
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Tom Swiftie: “My walking stick broke,” Tom snapped.
“Good, now you can’t complain about splinters,” Bob said sharply.

Joke by Howard H., Newark, Calif.
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Tom Swiftie: “Is my pastry ready yet?” Tom asked tartly.

Joke by Christian D., Wilmington, Del.
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Tom Swiftie: “Who turned off the lamp?” Tom asked, delighted.

Joke by Daniel F., Reynoldsburg, Ohio
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Tom Swiftie: “April sure is rainy,” Tom thundered.

Joke by George I., Bayonne, N.J.
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Tom Swiftie: “How are the elements organized?” Tom asked periodically.

Joke by Nathan P., Westford, Mass.
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Tom Swiftie: “I’ve got plumbing to do,” Tom piped up.

Joke by Andrew F., Butler, Pa.
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Tom Swiftie: “Have you seen my brain?” Tom asked absentmindedly.

Joke by Joel G., Taylorsville, Utah
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Tom Swiftie: “I don’t want anything on my burger,” Tom said plainly.

Joke by James M., Memphis, Tenn.
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Tom Swiftie: “This fruit isn’t ripe yet,” Tom said sourly.

Joke by Matthew L., Linden, Mich.
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Tom Swiftie: “I like the rear of the ship,” Tom said sternly.

Joke by Nicholas A., Raleigh, N.C.
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Tom Swiftie: “She tore my valentine in two,” Tom said halfheartedly.

Joke by Chris W., Southaven, Miss.
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Tom Swiftie: “I almost got struck by lightning!” Tom said shockingly.

Joke by Lucas K., Roanoke, Va.
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Tom Swiftie: “Tell the dog to be quiet!” Tom barked.

Joke by Jonathan E., Gaithersburg, Md.
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Tom Swiftie: “Stop clanging those cymbals,” Tom said bashfully.

Joke by Mason M., Grand Rapids, Mich.
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Tom Swiftie: “Use your own toothbrush!” Tom bristled.

Joke by LJ R., Coppell, Tex.
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Tom Swiftie: “This is an amazing comic,” Tom marveled.

Joke by Benjamin S., Oswego, Ill.
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Tom Swiftie: “Pass me the shellfish,” Tom said crabbily.

Joke by Noah W., Fremont, Calif.
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