Nick: What do rodents power their cars with? Rick: Tell me. Nick: Weasel-diesel! Joke by Nick N., Redwood City, Calif.10 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Carpool—Where automobiles go for a dip. Joke by Ricky G., Hanover Park, Ill.3 commentsLoading...
Denver: Knock, knock. Sam: Who’s there? Denver: Cargo. Sam: Cargo, who? Denver: No, cargo beep-beep! Joke by Denver S., Newport, Mich.15 commentsLoading...
Pedro: Who can drive all their customers away and still make money? The Boss: Who? Pedro: Taxi drivers! Joke by Drew M., Meridian, Idaho4 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Breakfast—What a driver does when a light suddenly changes. Joke by Lucas H., Evans, Ga.3 commentsLoading...
Randy: What do you call a country that drives only rose-colored cars? Connor: I’m stumped. Randy: A “red carnation!” Joke by Randy C., Renton, Wash.6 commentsLoading...
Warped Wiseman says: “It takes thousands of bolts to put a car together, but only one nut to wreck it.” Joke by Adam M., Parkville, Mo.7 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Autobiography—A book telling a car’s life story. Joke by James C., Sterling, Va.3 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “Finding a Carpool” by Anita Ride. Joke by Brian T., St. Louis, Mo.4 commentsLoading...
Pat: What has 10 letters and starts with G-A-S? Rick: Beats me. Pat: Automobile. Joke by Patrick H., Sedalia, Mo.2 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “Guide to Exotic Cars” by Iona Ferrari. Joke by Haydn L., Broken Arrow, Okla.3 commentsLoading...
Jim: What’s a car’s favorite meal? Adam: I don’t know. Jim: Brake-fast. Joke by Adam C., Dinuba, Calif.8 commentsLoading...
Pedro: What do you get when you cross a racecar with a spud? Ordep: Beats me. Pedro: Crashed potatoes. Joke by Braeden B., Rancho Palos Verdes, Calif.5 commentsLoading...
Sam: Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Danny: Why? Sam: If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan! Joke by Samuel N., Gig Harbor, Wash.3 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Engineer—What an automobile hears with. Joke by Nick R., Macomb, Mich.2 commentsLoading...
Andy: Where do dogs park their cars? Al: Where? Andy: In the barking lot. Joke by Andrew A., Lexington, S.C.5 commentsLoading...
Tom Swiftie: “A car just ran over my foot,” Tom said tiredly. Joke by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.3 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Smart Car—An automobile with a diploma. Joke by Christopher H., Winfield, Pa.7 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “Old-Fashioned Cars” by Stu D. Baker. Joke by Andrew R., Orange, Calif.1 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Vanguard—Security hired to protect large automobiles. Joke by Matthew H., Concord, Calif.10 commentsLoading...
Sam: One night I dreamed I was a muffler. Jeremy: Really? What happened? Sam: I woke up exhausted. Joke by Samuel E., Kemp, Tex.23 commentsLoading...
A guy goes door to door looking for work. One homeowner hands him a brush and a can of paint and offers him $150 to paint his porch. A few hours later, the guy comes back to the homeowner and says, "I'm finished. But you should know that your car's a Ferrari, not a Porsche." Joke by Dan H., Conshohocken, PA.18 commentsLoading...
A police officer stops a car going 75 when the speed limit is 65. The officer asks the man driving if he realizes he was speeding. The man replies, "Look right there -- that sign says the speed limit is 75." The officer explains that that's the highway number, not the speed limit. As he says this, he looks in the back of the car and sees an elderly woman breathing very heavily. The officer asks her if she's O.K., and she says, "Yes, we just got off of Highway 155." Joke by Samuel E., Coweta, Okla.195 commentsLoading...
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