6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

Robbie: Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name?

Bobbie: East?

Robbie: No. Larry.

Joke by Robbie B., Quarryville, Pa.
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Patient: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat!

Doctor: How long have you felt like this?

Patient: Ever since I was a kid.

Joke by Robbie B., Rancho Santa Margarita, Calif.
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Teacher: Johnny, use the word “dehumanize” in a sentence.

Johnny: “Dehumanize are located in the head.”

Joke by Phillip C., Richmond, Va.
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Henry: I used to work in a doughnut shop.

Meg: What happened?

Henry: I got tired of the hole business.

Joke by Henry A., Indianapolis, Ind.
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Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning.

Class: Hooray!

Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

Joke by Kyle S., Chesapeake, Va.
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Diner: Waiter, waiter, what’s wrong with this fish?

Waiter: Long time no sea, sir.

Joke by Jerry L., Dublin, Ohio.
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A book never written: “Keeping Cheerful” by Mona Lott.

Joke by Maxwell B. B., Green Bay, Wis.
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Mom: I see you won a silver medal at camp. What’s it for?

Matt: It’s for telling knock knock jokes.

Mom: And what’s that gold medal for?

Matt: For stopping.

Joke by Matthew R., Chesapeake, Va.
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A sign on the door of a basketball coach’s office: “The frame of this door is 6 feet 3 inches high. If you can enter without ducking, don’t.”

Joke by Michael M., Cincinnati, Ohio.
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A book never written: “Who Needs Camouflage?” by I. Kant; illustrations by C.Yoo.

Joke by Brent W., Virginia Beach, Va.
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A man is driving down a country road when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a field. Curious, he pulls the car over and walks out to the farmer.

“Excuse me, but why are you standing there doing nothing?”

The farmer says, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”

“How?”

“I heard they give it to people who are out standing in their fields.”

Joke by Ted M., Sayreville, N.J.
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Cab driver: Listen, buddy, can you tell me if my blinker is working?

Passerby: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

Joke by Steve H., Fremont, Calif.
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Tom Swiftie: “Stop eating like a pig!” Tom snorted.

Joke by John O., Westminster, S.C.
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“Dad, are bugs good to eat?” asked the boy.

“Let’s not talk about such things at the dinner table, son,” his father replied.

After dinner the father inquired, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”

“Oh, nothing,” the boy said. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Joke by Mark Y., Glendora, Calif.
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Ham: Tell me, Sam, how long have you been working here?

Sam: Ever since they threatened to fire me.

Joke by Peter Z. Jr., Novato, Calif.
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A book never written: “Easy Hills” by Phil Mont.

Joke by Ed N., Chesterfield, Mo.
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Logan: Knock, knock.

Hogan: Who’s there?

Logan: Dismay.

Hogan: Dismay,who?

Logan: Dismay be the wrong door, but please let me in anyway!

Joke by Logan D., Vancleave, Miss.
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Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I keep thinking I’m a bridge!

Doctor: What’s come over you?

Patient: A truck, two buses, five cars and a man walking his dog.

Joke by Benjamin C., Wichita. Kan.
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“Does your dog bite?” a passerby asked a kid on a street corner.

“No,” said the kid.

The passerby pet the dog—and it snapped at him.

“Hey, I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!”

“I did,” said the kid. “That’s not my dog.”

Joke by Chris W., Sewickley, Pa.
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Two atoms bumped into each other on the street. The first exclaimed, “Oh my! Are you all right?”

“Not really,” replied the second atom.“I lost an electron.”

“Oh. Are you sure?”

“I’m positive.”

Joke by Michael D., Woodridge, Ill.
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Shea: What goes all over the world but stays in one corner?

Beau: I have no earthly idea.

Shea: A stamp.

Joke by Shea H., Lovington, N.M.
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Malcolm: Knock, knock.

Shane: Who’s there?

Malcolm: Panther.

Shane: Panther, who?

Malcolm: Let me in! My panther on fire!

Joke by Malcolm R., Boxford, Mass.
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Boy: Mom, can I have a dollar for the old man who’s crying outside?

Mom: What’s he crying about?

Boy: He’s crying, “Fresh roasted peanuts, one dollar!”

Joke by George K., Hermitage, Pa.
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Jon: How does the man in the moon cut his hair?

Lon: How?

Jon: Eclipse it!

Joke by Shenje H., Saratoga, Calif.
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John: What is a fish’s favorite show?

Don: What?

John: “Name That Tuna.”

Joke by John D., San Antonio, Tex.
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