6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

Craig: What do you get from a pampered cow?

Lois: What?

Craig: Spoiled milk.

Joke by Jeffrey D. G., Westminster, Md.
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A book never written: “The Life of Pirates” by Peg Legg.

Joke by Ryan C., Fairfax Station, Va.
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Ethan: Knock, knock.

Eddy: Who’s there?

Ethan: Offer.

Eddy: Offer, who?

Ethan: Offer got the rest of the joke!

Joke by Ethan N., Geneva, Neb.
3 comments

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Bill: What did the bee say to the rose?

Gil: I haven’t any idea. What?

Bill: “Hi, bud!”

Joke by Billy W., Union, S.C.
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Daffynition: Doughnut—a person who’s crazy about money.

Joke by Aaron G., Middleton, Idaho
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Bill: Who always gets his work done by Friday?

Gil: I don’t know. Who?

Bill: Robinson Crusoe.

Joke by William C., Pittsgrove, N.J.
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Chad: What does an elf do after school?

Dad: Don’t know. What?

Chad: Gnomework.

Joke by Chad W., Las Vegas, Nev.
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A book never written: “Cruise Ship Safety” by Ty Tanic.

Joke by Matthew W., Thousand Oaks, Calif.
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Two letters, one from boarding school and the other in response:

Dear Dad,

No fun.

—Your son.

Dear Son,

Too bad.

—Your dad.

Joke by Jason P., Cambridge Springs, Pa.
1 comments

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David: What did the cat say on the cell phone?

Kevin: I don’t know. What?

David: “Can you hear meow?”

Joke by Austin K., Marion, Iowa
4 comments

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A book never written: “Surviving Poverty” by Roland N. Dough.

Joke by Ryan Z., Madison, N.J.
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Tim: Knock, knock.

Jim: Who’s there?

Tim: Just open the door!

Jim: Just open the door, who?

Tim: The door is locked—and my name’s not “who”!

Joke by Justin S., Boynton Beach, Fla.
3 comments

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Dentist: Hmm, it would appear that you have nice, even teeth.

Hockey Player: Thanks, doc.

Dentist: Unfortunately, it’s because teeth Nos. 1, 3 and 5 are missing.

Joke by Lucas J., Trion, Ga.
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Tom Swiftie: “Stop cracking your knuckles!” Tom popped off.

Joke by Brian L., Findlay, Ohio
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Joe: What do you call a meeting among many dogs?

Dib: I don’t have the foggiest idea.

Joe: A bowwow powwow.

Joke by William O., Plandome Manor, N.Y.
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Dink: When is a car no longer a car?

Duff: I don’t know. When?

Dink: When it turns into a driveway.

Joke by Chris S., New Orleans, La.
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A book never written: “Swimming the English Channel” by Frances Neer.

Joke by Matt T., Towaco, N.J.
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Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano once my hand surgery is completed?

Doctor: I don’t see why not.

Patient: That’s great! I was never able to play the piano before!

Joke by Josh H., Raleigh, N.C.
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Doctor: Sir, I think you’re suffering from a split personality.

Patient: No, we’re not.

Joke by Elizabeth R., Junction City, Ore.
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Tom Swiftie: “That alligator nearly bit my leg off!” Tom snapped.

Joke by Jordan R., Newtown, Conn.
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As a doctor is examining someone, the nurse bursts in and says, “The patient you just treated collapsed on his way out! What should I do?”

The doctor replies, “Turn him around so it looks like he collapsed coming in.”

Joke by Kenny E., Bronston, Ky.
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Sam: What did the cannibal get when he was late for dinner?

Pam: What?

Sam: A cold shoulder.

Joke by Sam S., Birmingham, Ala.
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A book never written: “How to Accept Your Limitations” by Hugh Mility.

Joke by Gavin K., Pompton Plains, N.J.
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Bob: What is purple and comes from Macedonia?
Bill: I really don’t know.
Bob: Alexander the Grape!

Joke by Michael P., Greeneville, Tenn.
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Joel: What kind of bee can’t be understood?

John: You got me. What?

Joel: A mumble bee.

Joke by Joel P. S., Galloway, N.J.
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