Laugh at funny Animal jokes and comics for kids

Kyle: What did the farmer use to measure his sheep?
Lyle: I haven’t a clue.
Kyle: A wool-er.

Joke by Kyle F., Starke, Fla.
4 comments

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Pedro: What does a fox call a rabbit?
Woody: Beats me.
Pedro: “Fast Food.”

Joke by Max B., Fort Collins, Colo.
8 comments

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Kyle: How did the two snails settle their differences?
Tommy: Tell me.
Kyle: They slugged it out!

Joke by Kyle S., Derwood, Md.
1 comments

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Isaiah: Where do cows buy their stuff?
Colin: I’m stumped.
Isaiah: In a cattle-og.

Joke by Isaiah C., Jamestown, Tenn.
3 comments

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Billy: Where do sheep go to get haircuts?
Bob: Where?
Billy: The baa-baa shop!

Joke by Christian H., Berrien Springs, Mich.
6 comments

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A man comes home after a hard day’s work and opens the refrigerator
to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap.

“What are you doing in my fridge?” the man asks.

The squirrel opens one sleepy eye and says, “Isn’t this a Westinghouse?”

“Um, yes,” the man replies. “It is."

“Well then,” the squirrel says, shutting his eyes again, “I am twying to west.”

Joke by David T., Bronx, N.Y.
25 comments

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A book never written: “How to Start a Ranch” by Brandon Cows.

Joke by Jake K., Brighton, Colo.
8 comments

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A horse trainer raised a filly. When he raced her in the evening, she always won. When he raced her during the day, she always lost. She was a fine horse, but she was a real night mare.

Joke by Spencer M., Lafayette, La.
6 comments

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Cachet: What do you call a camel with a flat back?
Robert: Tell me.
Cachet: “Humphrey.”

Joke by Cachet H., Miami, Fla.
8 comments

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Kayla: What happens when you have a pig that knows martial arts?
Jonathan: I have no clue.
Kayla: You get pork chops!

Joke by Jonathan M., Little Mountain, S.C.
13 comments

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Kevin: How does a chicken keep a beat?
Devin: I don’t know.
Kevin: With its drumsticks!

Joke by Kevin G., Aston, Pa.
2 comments

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Charlie: Knock, knock.
Thomas: Who’s there?
Charlie: Cows go.
Thomas: Cows go, who?
Charlie: Nope — cows go moo!

Joke by Joshua C., Tulsa, Okla.
16 comments

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Andrew: What did the horse say when it fell down?
Teddy: I haven’t a clue.
Andrew: “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!”

Joke by Andrew S., San Lorenzo, Calif
4 comments

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Seth: What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
Jake: Tell me.
Seth: A “plane in the neck.”

Joke by Jake P., Vaihingen, Germany
8 comments

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Tobin: What do you call a poodle in the sauna?
Robin: Beats me.
Tobin: A hot dog.

Joke by Tobin S., Colorado Springs, Colo.
5 comments

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Dana: What should a man know before trying to teach a dog tricks?
Rover: I have no idea.
Dana: More than the dog!

Joke by Dana P., Shrewsbury, N.J.
6 comments

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Tony: Where do cats write down their notes?
Joannie: I dunno.
Tony: On scratch paper!

Joke by Tony Z., Orange Park, Fla.
13 comments

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Lenny: Which takes less time to get ready for a trip, an elephant or a rooster?
Dennis: Beats me.
Lenny: A rooster—he only takes a comb, while the elephant takes his whole trunk!

Joke by Eric P., Shrewsbury, N.J.
5 comments

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Warped Wiseman says: “A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.”

Joke by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.
3 comments

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Brendan: What do you call a gorilla that plays golf?
James: I don’t know.
Brendan: Hairy Putter.

Joke by Brendan T., Wantagh, N.Y.
10 comments

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Nick: Why do geese fly south for the winter?
Josh: I don’t know. Why?
Nick: Because it’s too far to walk.

Joke by Nicholas R., Spokane Valley, Wash.
6 comments

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A book never written: “Lion Taming for Beginners” by Claude B. Hinds.

Joke by Anthony H., Loudonville, N.Y.
1 comments

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Suzan: What do you get if you cross an owl with an oyster?
Howard: I don’t know.
Suzan: A creature that dispenses pearls of wisdom.

Joke by Suzan W., Spring Hill, Fla.
1 comments

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Matt: What do you call a very poor cat?
Kate: No idea. What?
Matt: A “paw-purr.”

Joke by Matthew D., The Colony, Tex.
4 comments

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Daniel: What is a duck’s favorite video game?
Gabriel: Tell me.
Daniel: Quack-man!

Joke by Daniel V., Spring Hill, Kan.
11 comments

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