Laugh at funny Animal jokes and comics for kids

Tom Swiftie: “Tell the dog to be quiet!” Tom barked.

Joke by Jonathan E., Gaithersburg, Md.
8 comments

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Robert: What do you get if you cross a pig and a frog?
Jack: Beats me.
Robert: A ham-phibian!

Joke by Robert S., Weedsport, N.Y.
2 comments

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Man: Doctor, I think I’m becoming a dog!
Doctor: Just relax. Have a seat, and I’ll help you.
Man: But doctor, I’m not allowed on the furniture!

Joke by Lee J., Galveston, Texas
4 comments

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Danny: Why did the lions cross the road?
Bobby: I don’t know. Why?
Danny: To get to the other pride!

Joke by J. Daniel J., Huntington, W.Va.
8 comments

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George: What do cats say when they get hurt?
Jeff: Tell me.
George: “Me-OW!”

Joke by George Y., San Ramon, Calif.
11 comments

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A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. The man watched the game in astonishment for a while.

“I can hardly believe my eyes!” he said. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen.”

“He’s not so smart,” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five.”

Joke by Aaron K., Williamsport, Md.
25 comments

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Tim: Which snake likes baked desserts?
Isaiah: Tell me.
Tim: The pie-thon!

Joke by Isaiah Chr, Jamestown, Tenn.
1 comments

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Drew: What does a guppy drive into battle?
Spencer: I’m stumped.
Drew: A fish tank.

Joke by Drew L., Hampton, Va.
1 comments

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Nick: What do rodents power their cars with?
Rick: Tell me.
Nick: Weasel-diesel!

Joke by Nick N., Redwood City, Calif.
10 comments

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Nathan: Why was the cat so small?
Ethan: I have no idea.
Nathan: It ate only condensed milk!

Joke by Nathan B., Carrollton, Ga.
5 comments

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Casen: What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?
Austin: I’m stumped.
Casen: “Santa Jaws!”

Joke by Casen S., Tyler, Tex.
9 comments

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Caleb: What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?
Ben: Beats me.
Caleb: They both have sandy claws.

Joke by Joshua H., Seminole, Fla.
8 comments

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Noah: What is a bird’s favorite Christmas story?
Mike: I haven’t a clue.
Noah: The Finch Who Stole Christmas.

Joke by Noah B., Port Deposit, Md.
5 comments

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Colton: Knock, knock.
Steve: Who’s there?
Colton: Owls.
Steve: Owls, who?
Colton: You’re right; owls do hoot.

Joke by Colton S., Coupland, Tex.
10 comments

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Joseph: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
Justin: I don’t know.
Joseph: Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses!

Joke by Joseph H., Cupertino, Calif.
11 comments

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Alex: What do you call a fish that won’t shut up?
Danielle: I’m stumped.
Alex: A big-mouthed bass!

Joke by Alex S., Racine, Wis.
5 comments

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Blake: What do you get when you cross a cow and a porcupine?
Kyle: I haven’t a clue.
Blake: A steak with a built-in toothpick!

Joke by Blake R., Hallsville, Tex.
10 comments

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A book never written: “Birds” by Perry Keet.

Joke by Jacob C., Levering, Mich.
10 comments

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Colin: What’s a pig’s best karate move?
Riley: I give up.
Colin: The pork chop!

Joke by Colin C., Kansas City, Mo.
19 comments

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Steve: What do you call a hip-hop lizard?
Zach: I haven’t a clue.
Steve: A rap-tile!

Joke by Tanner S., Nickerson, Kan.
6 comments

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Biff: Why did the turkey cross the road?
Bob: I don’t know.
Biff: It was Thanksgiving, and he wanted people to think he was a chicken!

Joke by Rachy Y., Waianae, Hawaii
3 comments

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Matthew: Why did the three pigs run away from home?
Luke: I have no idea.
Matthew: Because their father was a boar!

Joke by Matthew W., Harrisburg, N.C.
3 comments

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Josh: What do you get when you cross a fat pig and a squash?
Jen: Tell me.
Josh: A plump-kin!

Joke by Josh J., Offutt Air Force Base, Neb.
4 comments

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David: Why did the bird go to the doctor?
Blake: Beats me.
David: For a medical tweet-ment!

Joke by David V., Hermitage, Tenn.
4 comments

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Emir: What bird is always out of breath?
Eric: Beats me.
Emir: A puffin.

Joke by Emir B., Honolulu, Hawaii
6 comments

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