Mike: What did the teddy bear say when offered dessert? Ike: Tell me. Mike: “No, thanks; I’m stuffed!” Joke by Dave T., Foresthill, Calif.2 commentsLoading...
Gavin: What do you call a sick martial-artist bear from China? Kevin: Beats me. Gavin: “Kung-flu panda!” Joke by Gavin H., Stoughton, Mass.5 commentsLoading...
A bear walks into a restaurant. The waiter asks him what he would like. The bear says, “A steak … and a salad.” The waiter asks, “Why the big paws?” Joke by Carl H., Wayzata, Minn.1 commentsLoading...
Frank: What do you call a grizzly with no teeth? Bob: I don’t know, what? Frank: A gummy bear. Joke by Michael M., Marietta, Ga.6 commentsLoading...
Kaleb: What do you call a polar bear wearing earmuffs? Alvin: Anything you want. He can’t hear you! Joke by Kaleb R., Morganton, N.C.16 commentsLoading...
Steve and Mark are camping when a bear suddenly comes out and growls. Steve starts putting on his tennis shoes. Mark says, “What are you doing? You can’t outrun a bear!” Steve says, “I don’t have to outrun the bear—I just have to outrun you!” Joke by Kyle R., St. Louis, Mo.18 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “Arctic Life” by Paul R. Bear. Joke by Tom L., Indian Trail, N.C.3 commentsLoading...
Sam: Why do bears hibernate for so long? Jacob: I’m not sure. Sam: Because no one is brave enough to wake them up. Joke by Sam P., Round Hill, Va.6 commentsLoading...
A man was walking through the woods when a bear started to chase him. Soon the man tired of running, fell to his knees and prayed, “Lord, please don’t let this bear eat me.” The man noticed the bear was also praying: “Lord, thank you for this meal I am about to receive.” Joke by Eric L., Rocky Point, N.C.30 commentsLoading...
Jim: What did the polar bear say to the caribou? Tim: What? Jim: “You must weigh a tundra!” Joke by James P., Mechanicsville, Va.2 commentsLoading...
Austin: What kind of shoes does a bear wear in the woods? Boston: What? Austin: None—it goes bearfooted! Joke by Austin B., Calabasas, Calif.1 commentsLoading...
Tony: How do you hire a teddy bear? Troy: How? Tony: Put it on stilts! Joke by Anthony D., San Jose, Calif.3 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “How to Survive a Bear Attack” by Ben Eaton. Joke by Alex A., Meridian, Idaho5 commentsLoading...
Aaron: How many paws does a bear have? Sharon: Four. Aaron: Nope. Just one. Plus one maw. Joke by Aaron G., Middleton, Idaho15 commentsLoading...
Tim: What is Smokey the Bear’s middle name? Andrew: I have no idea. What? Tim: “The.” Joke by Andrew R., Holbrook, N.Y.4 commentsLoading...
Steve and Mark are camping when a bear suddenly comes out and growls. Steve starts putting on his tennis shoes. Mark says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!" Steve says, "I don't have to outrun the bear—I just have to outrun you!" Joke by Kyle R., St. Louis, Mo.6 commentsLoading...
A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "I'll have a drink and………some peanuts." The bartender asks, "Why the big paws?" Joke by Evan K., West Des Moines, Iowa4 commentsLoading...
Zane: What do you call a bear with no teeth? Cindy: I don't know. Zane: A gummy bear. Joke by Tyler H., Lubbock, Tex.5 commentsLoading...