Ian: What did Oliver Twist say on a camp-out? Charles: I dunno. Ian: “Please, sir, may I have s’more?” Joke by Ian H., Novato, Calif.3 commentsLoading...
Thomas: What is a golfer’s favorite lunch Charlie: Beats me. Thomas: A ham sand-wedge. Joke by Thomas C., Basking Ridge, N.J.2 commentsLoading...
Chris: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? Taylor: I have no idea. Chris: A necktarine! Joke by Christopher F., Wildwood, Mo.18 commentsLoading...
Gus: What happened when the skinny butcher backed into his grinder? Spike: Beats me. Gus: He got a little behind in his work! Joke by Will B., Madison, Wis.1 commentsLoading...
Wyatt: Why can’t tomatoes win races against lettuce? Steven: Tell me. Wyatt: Because the lettuce are always a head, and the tomatoes are always trying to ketchup! Joke by Wyatt S., Newberry, Mich.8 commentsLoading...
Matt: How did the soup lose its job? Mark: I don’t know. How? Matt: It got canned! Joke by Heli N., East Hartford, Conn.1 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “Chinese Recipes” by Terry Yaki. Joke by Karl G., Taylorsville, Tenn.4 commentsLoading...
Zach: What’s a tortilla chip’s favorite kind of dance? Tim: Beats me. Zach: The salsa! Joke by Zachary K., Colonia, N.J.9 commentsLoading...
Carl: What is an astronaut’s favorite food? Will: Tell me. Carl: Launch-meat! Joke by Carl S., Omaha, Neb.14 commentsLoading...
Tom Swiftie: “I want to get a spicy root at the grocery store,” Tom said gingerly. Joke by Andrew C., Gaithersburg, Md.4 commentsLoading...
Alex: What did the nut say when it sneezed? John: I have no clue. Alex: “Cashew!” Joke by Alex H., Longwood, Fla.9 commentsLoading...
Fred: What’s the only food made of dust from outer space? Sarah: What? Fred: A moon pie! Joke by Justus W., Middlesboro, Ky.5 commentsLoading...
Nick: What a nightmare -- I dreamed I was eating a giant marshmallow. Rick: What’s so bad about that? Nick: When I woke up, my pillow was gone. Joke by Nick S., Overland Park, Kan.11 commentsLoading...
A boy read a restaurant sign that advertised fat-free French fries. “Sounds great,” said the health-conscious boy. He ordered some. He watched as the cook pulled a basket of fries from the fryer. The potatoes were dripping with oil when the cook put them into the container. “Wait a minute,” the boy said. “Those don’t look fat-free.” “Sure they are,” the cook said. “We charge only for the potatoes. The fat is free!” Joke by Sam S., Birmingham, Ala.31 commentsLoading...
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" "No, ma'am. They're dead." Joke by Grant W., San Diego, Calif.4 commentsLoading...
A book never written: "Vegetarian Recipes" by Connor Vore. Joke by Bob S., Waterford, Vt.F2 commentsLoading...
Nathanael: Knock, knock. Cindy: Who's there? Nathanael: Distressing. Cindy: Distressing, who? Nathanael: Distressing has too much vinegar! Joke by Nathanael C., Schaumburg, Ill.4 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Going against the grain -- Being on a no-carb diet. Joke by Brian S., Charlotte, N.C.4 commentsLoading...
Customer: Do you serve crabs here? Waiter: We serve everyone. Sit right down. Joke by Josh G., Brentwood, Tenn.8 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Vegetarian -- Native American word for "poor hunter." Joke by Zachary M., Amarillo, Tex.97 commentsLoading...
Philip: What did one slice of bread say to the other? Elva: What? Philip: "Stop loafing around!" Joke by Philip K., Corning, N.Y.3 commentsLoading...