Joseph: How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Justin: I don’t know. Joseph: Because you never see a rabbit wearing glasses! Joke by Joseph H., Cupertino, Calif.11 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Deliver—To remove a vital organ. Joke by Christopher K., Wolverine Lake, Mich.10 commentsLoading...
David: Why did the bird go to the doctor? Blake: Beats me. David: For a medical tweet-ment! Joke by David V., Hermitage, Tenn.4 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “My Eyes Itch” by Ben A. Drill. Joke by Grant W., Sugar Grove, Ill.5 commentsLoading...
Warped Wiseman wonders: “If Harry Potter is so magical, why can’t he fix his own eyesight?” Joke by Andrew F., Milford, N.H.7 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “Hard of Hearing” by Isabelle Ringing. Joke by Ricky S., Bedford, N.H.6 commentsLoading...
Patient: Doctor, how much will it cost to have this splinter taken out? Doctor: About $70. Patient: Seventy dollars? For just a couple of seconds of work? Doctor: I can pull it out very slowly if you prefer. Joke by Greg V., Spring Hill, Kan.7 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “Hard of Hearing” by Isabelle Ringing. Joke by Ricky S., Bedford, N.H.2 commentsLoading...
Luke: Why did the bee go to the hospital? Jake: I give up. Luke: Because it had hives! Joke by Paul P., Meriden, Conn.11 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “How to Check a Pulse” by Izzy Dead. Joke by Patrick H., Sedalia, Mo.4 commentsLoading...
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, “Are you worried about mad cow disease?” The other one says, “No, it doesn’t worry me. I’m a horse!” Joke by Nathan G., Asbury, N.J.10 commentsLoading...
Derek: Why did the doctor have to hold his temper? Dan: Beats me. Derek: So he wouldn’t lose his patients. Joke by Dan H., Beavercreek, Ohio12 commentsLoading...
Jake: Why did the orange go blind? Justin: Beats me. Jake: He didn’t have enough vitaminsee! Joke by Jake S., Phoenixville, Pa.2 commentsLoading...
Tobin: What happened to your leg? Matt: I went to a seafood dance last night. Tobin: And? Matt: I pulled a mussel! Joke by Matt K., Omaha, Neb.4 commentsLoading...
Simon: Why did the orange go to the hospital? Ted: I haven’t a clue. Simon: Because it wasn’t peeling well. Joke by Simon X., Riyadh, Saudi Arabia4 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “Pain Management” by Nova Cane. Joke by Nicholas G., South Range, Wis.1 commentsLoading...
Daffynition: Quack—A duck that has no business practicing medicine. Joke by Will G., Rutland, Vt.4 commentsLoading...
George: Knock, knock. Simon: Who’s there? George: Aida. Simon: Aida, who? George: Aida lot of sweets, and now I’ve got a tummy ache. Joke by Aditya B., Naperville, Ill.5 commentsLoading...
A book never written: “Staying Home With a Cold” by Fay King. Joke by Vihan K., Livingston, N.J.1 commentsLoading...
Sal: How did the man know how to find the chiropractor? Sam: Search me. Sal: He had a hunch! Joke by Salvatore V., St. Louis, Mo.5 commentsLoading...
Joe: When do doctors get angry? Bob: I don’t know. When? Joe: When they run out of patients! Joke by Joseph H., Cupertino, Calif.14 commentsLoading...
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins." "That's odd," answers the man. "I work for the Minnesota Twins!" A nurse says to the second guy, "Congratulations! You're the father of triplets!" "That's weird," answers the second man. "I work for the 3M company!" A nurse tells the third man, "Congratulations! You're the father of quadruplets!" "That's strange," he answers. "I work for the Four Seasons hotel!" The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. "What's wrong?" the others ask. "I work for 7 Up!" Joke by Daniel C., Urbana, Ill.539 commentsLoading...
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