6,000 Funny Kids Jokes - Scout Life Think & Grin Jokes

A book never written: "Types of Flowers" by Al R. Gies.

Joke by Shaun T., Glenolden, Pa.
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Fred: What do you call a monster that stinks at golf?

Steve: Dunno.

Fred: A bogey-man!

Joke by Alex M., Franklin, Wis.
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Billy: What's black and white and yellow all over?

John: Um…I give up. What?

Billy: Newspaper at the pet store!

Joke by Alex L., Tyler, Tex.
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Dink: Why can't a leopard hide?

Duff: Because it's always spotted.

Joke by Joseph W., Okinawa, Japan
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A book never written: "Garbage Can Cuisine" by Al E. Katt.

Joke by Peter H., Northbrook, Ill.
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Ed: What did the mama buffalo say to the baby buffalo?

Frank: What?

Ed: Bison.

Joke by Matthew D., Peabody, Mass.
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A book never written: "The History of the Red Sox" by Yan Key.

Joke by Jacob H., York, Pa.
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The art thief was caught with a van full of Impressionist paintings.

When the reporter asked how he could be smart enough to rob the museum but dumb enough to still get caught, he said:

"I didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Joke by Allan M., Storrs, Conn.
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Joe: Why is it hard to keep a secret down on the farm?

Moe: I don't know. Why?

Joe: Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beanstalk.

Joke by Stephen C., Salem, Va.
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Jimmy drank eight sodas. He threw 7 Up.

Joke by Aaron G., Paducah, Ky.
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A book never written: "Rain, Rain, Go Away!" by Sunny Day.

Joke by Olivia G., Sebago, Me.
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Geoff: What is the most delicate animal on Earth?

Felix: What?

Geoff: Frogs—touch 'em once and they croak!

Joke by Geoffrey N., Rapid City, Mich.
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Tom Swiftie: "I love meat and potatoes," Tom said heartily.

Joke by Benjamin M., Otis, Ore.
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Junior hangs out at the local grocery store. The neighborhood boys think Junior is two bricks short of a load and like to tease him.

To prove it, the boys offer Junior his choice between a nickel and a dime. He always takes the nickel, they say, because it's bigger.

One day after Junior grabbed the nickel, the store manager got him off to one side and said, "Junior, those boys are making fun of you. They think you don't know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Are you grabbing the nickel because it's bigger?"

Junior says, "No. I grab the nickel because if I took the dime, they'd quit doing it!"

Joke by Michael M., Golden, Colo.
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Josh: Can February March?

James: I don't know.

Josh: I don't know either, but April May!

Joke by Josh G., Portland, Ore.
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A book never written: "Flower Growing Essentials" by April Raines.

Joke by Spencer D., Dryden, Mich.
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Steve and Mark are camping when a bear suddenly comes out and growls.

Steve starts putting on his tennis shoes.

Mark says, "What are you doing? You can't outrun a bear!"

Steve says, "I don't have to outrun the bear—I just have to outrun you!"

Joke by Kyle R., St. Louis, Mo.
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Austin: What did one dinosaur say to the other when the volcano blew?

Boston: What?

Austin: "What a lava-ly day we're having!"

Joke by Austin R., Forreston, Ill.
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A book never written: "The Richest Man Alive" by I. R. S. Mann.

Joke by Shane D., Hurricane, W.Va.
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Frank: If everybody was a type of car, what type of car would a 4-foot-6-inch basketball player be?

Josh: I don't know. What type?

Frank: A Mini Hooper.

Joke by Parker B., Indianapolis, Ind.
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Teacher: Please use the word "tackle" in a sentence.

Johnny: Yes, ma'am. "Anyone who sits on a tackle be sorry!"

Joke by Elliott B.
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Daffynition: Melancholy— A dog that eats cantaloupes.

Joke by Rob P., Glenside, PA.
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A book never written: "The World Is a Big Place" by Mike Robe.

Joke by Zachary R., Wahiawa, Hawaii
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Manager: Our new infielder cost $10 million. I call him our "Wonder Player."

Fan: Why's that?

Manager: Every time he plays, I wonder why I bothered to get him.