Jokes

Laugh at 6,000+ hilarious jokes and comics submitted by kids! Featuring clean and funny humor perfect for all ages. Don’t miss out on our Joke of the Day and explore the top 100 most popular jokes.

John visited his 90-year-old grandpa who lived way out in the country. On the first morning of the visit, John's grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs. John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked, "Are these plates clean?"

His grandpa replied, "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal."

For lunch, Grandpa made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have specks of dried egg on it. "Are you sure these plates are clean?" he asked.

Without looking up, Grandpa said, "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them!" 

Later, as John was leaving, his grandpa's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass.

John said, "Grandpa, your dog won't let me get by!"

Grandpa yelled to the dog, "Cold Water, go lie down!"

Joke by Jonathan P., Chicago, Ill.
199 comments

Two inexperienced hunters were hunting in the woods. Before long, they got lost.

"Don't worry," said the first hunter. "I heard that if you're lost, you fire three shots in the air so somebody will hear you."

They fired three shots in the air and waited. A half-hour later they tried it again, and still no one heard them. Finally, they decided to try it a third time.



"This better work," said the second hunter. "These are our last arrows."

Joke by Anthony M., Edison, N.J.
112 comments