Laugh at funny Doctor jokes and comics for kids – Jokes by Scout Life

David: Why did the bird go to the doctor?
Blake: Beats me.
David: For a medical tweet-ment!

Joke by David V., Hermitage, Tenn.
4 comments

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Patient: Doctor, how much will it cost to have this splinter taken out?
Doctor: About $70.
Patient: Seventy dollars? For just a couple of seconds of work?
Doctor: I can pull it out very slowly if you prefer.

Joke by Greg V., Spring Hill, Kan.
7 comments

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Ben: Did you hear about the eyeglass maker who got caught in his machine?
Henry: What happened?
Ben: He made a spectacle of himself.

Joke by Ben G., Sylvania, Ohio
3 comments

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Luke: Why did the bee go to the hospital?
Jake: I give up.
Luke: Because it had hives!

Joke by Paul P., Meriden, Conn.
11 comments

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Derek: Why did the doctor have to hold his temper?
Dan: Beats me.
Derek: So he wouldn’t lose his patients.

Joke by Dan H., Beavercreek, Ohio
12 comments

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Bob: When do windows see the doctor?
Joe: I don’t know.
Bob: When they have panes!

Joke by Senthooran K., Lisle, Ill.
5 comments

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Simon: Why did the orange go to the hospital?
Ted: I haven’t a clue.
Simon: Because it wasn’t peeling well.

Joke by Simon X., Riyadh, Saudi Arabia
4 comments

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Daffynition: Quack—A duck that has no business practicing medicine.

Joke by Will G., Rutland, Vt.
4 comments

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Sal: How did the man know how to find the chiropractor?
Sam: Search me.
Sal: He had a hunch!

Joke by Salvatore V., St. Louis, Mo.
5 comments

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Joe: When do doctors get angry?
Bob: I don’t know. When?
Joe: When they run out of patients!

Joke by Joseph H., Cupertino, Calif.
14 comments

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Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies. A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, "Congratulations! You're the father of twins."

"That's odd," answers the man. "I work for the Minnesota Twins!"

A nurse says to the second guy, "Congratulations! You're the father of triplets!"

"That's weird," answers the second man. "I work for the 3M company!"

A nurse tells the third man, "Congratulations! You're the father of quadruplets!"

"That's strange," he answers. "I work for the Four Seasons hotel!"

The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall. "What's wrong?" the others ask.

"I work for 7 Up!"

Joke by Daniel C., Urbana, Ill.
542 comments

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