Laugh at funny Food jokes and comics for kids

Stevie: Did I tell you the peanut-butter joke?
Mark: No. What is it?
Stevie: I probably shouldn’t—you’ll just spread it.

Joke by Stevie B., New Prague, Minn.
10 comments

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Josh: What do you get when you cross a fat pig and a squash?
Jen: Tell me.
Josh: A plump-kin!

Joke by Josh J., Offutt Air Force Base, Neb.
4 comments

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Pedro: What does a fox call a rabbit?
Woody: Beats me.
Pedro: “Fast Food.”

Joke by Max B., Fort Collins, Colo.
8 comments

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Daffynition: Breakfast—What a driver does when a light suddenly changes.

Joke by Lucas H., Evans, Ga.
3 comments

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Dave: What do you call a happy herder of cattle?
Dan: I don’t know.
Dave: A “jolly rancher”!

Joke by David D., Dayton, Ohio
8 comments

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Nikolas: What town in England makes terrible sandwiches?
Ben: I’m stumped.
Nikolas: Oldham!

Joke by Nikolas Y., El Dorado Hills, Calif.
7 comments

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A man comes home after a hard day’s work and opens the refrigerator
to get a soda. Inside, he sees a squirrel taking a nap.

“What are you doing in my fridge?” the man asks.

The squirrel opens one sleepy eye and says, “Isn’t this a Westinghouse?”

“Um, yes,” the man replies. “It is."

“Well then,” the squirrel says, shutting his eyes again, “I am twying to west.”

Joke by David T., Bronx, N.Y.
25 comments

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Nich: Where was the first doughnut cooked?
Rick: Where?
Nich: In Greece!

Joke by Nich G., St. George, Utah
4 comments

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Nick: Did you hear about the celery that got arrested?
Noah: No, I didn’t.
Nick: Yeah, it was accused of stalking.

Joke by Nick N., Peru, Ill.
16 comments

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A book never written: “Steamed Vegetables” by Barack Lee.

Joke by Charlie R., Minneapolis, Minn.
5 comments

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Kayla: What happens when you have a pig that knows martial arts?
Jonathan: I have no clue.
Kayla: You get pork chops!

Joke by Jonathan M., Little Mountain, S.C.
13 comments

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Tom Swiftie: “Pass me the shellfish,” Tom said crabbily.

Joke by Noah W., Fremont, Calif.
10 comments

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Daffynition: Mushroom—A closet full of baby food.

Joke by Ben D., Olathe, Kan.
6 comments

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Tobin: What do you call a poodle in the sauna?
Robin: Beats me.
Tobin: A hot dog.

Joke by Tobin S., Colorado Springs, Colo.
5 comments

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A book never written: “Fried Potatoes” by Tate R. Tot.

Joke by Christian B., Coralville, Iowa
3 comments

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A book never written: “Doughnuts, Doughnuts, Doughnuts!” by Chris P. Cream.

Joke by Gautam R., Danville, Calif.
9 comments

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Peter: Which is the meanest vegetable?
Elaine: Tell me.
Peter: An onion—it’s so mean, it makes you cry!

Joke by Thomas H., Duvall, Wash.
4 comments

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Gordon: What do you get when you bowl while eating fruit?
Graham: Beats me.
Gordon: A banana split!

Joke by Gordon T., Peoria, Ariz.
5 comments

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Chris: Knock, knock.
TJ: Who’s there?
Chris: Cash.
TJ: Cash, who?
Chris: No, thanks. I prefer peanuts!

Joke by Christian V., Lyme, Conn.
2 comments

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Daffynition: Vegetarian—A frontier word for “lousy hunter.”

Joke by Kyle C., Salinas, Calif.
6 comments

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Aadarsh: Why did the ice-cream truck leave early?
Dolfi no: Beats me.
Aadarsh: To get there by sundae!

Joke by Aadarsh P., Woodbury, Minn.
12 comments

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Joe: What’s a cheerleader’s favorite drink?
Bob: I don’t know.
Joe: Root beer!

Joke by AJ P., La Verne, Calif.
4 comments

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Alek: Why are elephants big and gray?
John: Tell me.
Alek: If they were small and purple, they would just be grapes.

Joke by Alek M., Dublin, Ohio
8 comments

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Tom Swiftie: “Boy, this hot dog is delicious!” Tom said frankly.

Joke by Jacob C., O’Fallon, Ill.
7 comments

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Anthony: Knock, knock.
James: Who’s there?
Anthony: Lettuce.
James: Lettuce, who?
Anthony: Lettuce in—it’s raining out here!

Joke by Anthony S., Brooklyn, N.Y.
2 comments

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